now here's a good reason

As I have said in my previous entry, I have long exams on Monday: Math 11 and Geology 11. I'm right here in Metro Manila and I should be doing in-depth studying for the long exams but guess what? I haven't done anything productive yet. Yes, you guessed it right! I'm procrastinating things again and making our computer chair warm. I have been IM-ing and Friendster-ing all day. This home is full of temptations. There's the TV, the bed, and the almighty computer with the fastest DSL connection. Internet. Online life. My ultimate weakness. The culprit of my just-average high school grades. And it's getting into me again.

So I just thought that this is a good reason for me not to transfer anymore. It's not that there's no TV in my place, it's not that there's no internet [hello, we have WiFi internet access sa dorm]. But when I'm there, I'm just focused unto studying and nerding off or doing things for DebSoc or whatever university-related. What have I done for the past few hours that have passed? Nothing. I just IM-ed and IM-ed high school friends who seem to be disinterested to know anything whatnot about me. Well, no offense to others. And let me clarify that Kaila is not one of them. Yay! Haha. What else have I done for the past hours? Stalking in Friendster. Flooding up my comments page. Stalking. Stalking. And more stalking. Haha. Just kidding. You know I love checking out people's Friendster profiles and afterwards, I'd be laughing at all the bull and stupidity they put there. Okay, before I go on further, let me clarify that I am not generalizing all the Friendster folks out there. It's just that I see more funny profiles than good ones. And I am not saying that mine's a good one. It's simply plain, mind you.

I wonder why I don't already have a clear vision of what do I want to do right after I finish my undergraduate studies. When I was in high school, I remember that I was so eager to hit medical school and after 12 years, I'll have MD written along my full name. Now, I am not even sure if that's still the thing that I want to do. Everything has changed. My exposure to UP has changed me. No, I don't want to be an activist. I know I once dreamed of being one but now that I'm in the real thing, it makes me wonder why I once desired to be in their circle. It does not appeal to me anymore. Being idealistic is not the only requirement for an individual to belong to them--you also need the ability to balance time between those things and your academics. And that I cannot do. I'm okay with DebSoc--the only reason why I still want to go to school everyday even though every school day seems to be a bad day for me. I don't know what would happen to me if DebSoc were non-existent. It's more than an org for me. It's love. And it's the sweetest thing that happened to me in UP. Thank God for DebSoc. Thank God for the people in DebSoc. Thank God for the people in Hezbollah [Clifford, Marco, Rodel, Alex, Mabel, Gerda, Francesca and Benson]--my house in DebSoc. It would be so hard to leave it. I'm living a life that I cannot leave behind. I know this one's gonna be tragic in the later time. I don't wanna think how it's gonna be.

So far, I'm doing okay with my academics. I think it's still tolerable. Zoology is of course, hard without critical thinking. I have learned that I must go beyond my lecture notes and what's written on that thick blue book that almost replaced my bible. I went altogether wrong when I thought that it's just a plain matter of memorizing all those facts and concepts. That I shall never do again. Life is the science of Biology therefore I must absorb everything in it since I believe that the subject matter is my passion. I'll be living this kind of life still in the next 3 years [HOPEFULLY] and I must learn how to get with it.

And I quote: Life is demanding without understanding.

P.S. I made a new Multiply account because my old one sucks. Check it out: http://malditix.multiply.com. The stupid stuff that it contains are for contacts only so just add me if you know me then I'd add you back if I know you. I think it would take a long time again before I update you guys with another dramatic long entry. And I don't even know if someone still reads this. But I'll always try my best for this thing not to be left stagnant forever. :)

I'm leaving for a better place tomorrow night. Please pray that I'll be safe.

feels like hell [the heat]

Friends! I'm back here in Quezon City. I came here at around 5 in the morning today. It was really unexpected that I'd go home today. Will be back there in Sunday night. I have two long exams on Monday--Math 11 and Geology 11. Okay, so I just hope that I would be able to pull that off by Monday.

What's up with this SK elections thing? Do I really have to register? I didn't even know that the main reason why high school and college students don't have class today is because of the SK elections registration.

So yes, I'm here in Manila feeling the freaking heat. I didn't expect that it would be this hot. My college friends have already told me that it really is hot down here but I thought it was just normal Manila temperature. What the hey, it's so hot. I'm wearing a maroon UP tee and very 'see-through' shorts and it's still very hot. Oh come on. Bring me back up there.

So anyway, as I have promised, I'm going to give a 'decent' entry about things that are currently happening to me. First and foremost, JDC is already upcoming. It's on August 18-20 I think. What is JDC? JDC stands for Junior Debate Championship. It's a a tournament for us, junior debaters in the UP Debate Society and it would also serve as our try-outs for the UP IVs. What is UP IVs? UP IVs is a debate tournament among all UP systems--meaning all the debate orgs of UP would compete--Manila, Diliman, Baguio, Los Banos, blah and blah. So here's the pressure upon me: only 6 from us, junior debaters would be allowed to join the UP IVs; the top 6. And I so badly want to join them despite my oh-so-terrible-and-horrible debating skills. I think I don't even have the right to call it a skill since I think I'm not born with it. Whatever. The last statement is so lame. Errr.

I spoke with Clifford last Wednesday. Clifford is my trainer. And I asked him if he sees progress with regards to my debating 'skills'. Of course, as my trainer, he would say yes even though I think I'm not really improving and/or developing. I just realized that I shouldn't have asked him if I want a reliable answer because in the first place, he's very nice to people that he doesn't want people to feel oppressed or whatsoever. Yeah, oppressed. Nice term I've got there. I asked Marco next, my other trainer. And guess what? He encouraged me to quit because of the shallowest reason. I shouldn't have asked him too. I know I won't get a good answer from him since he's all-joke. Whatevs. I thought of quitting DebSoc but as I have contemplated [eh?] on things, I came up to the conclusion that there's no good reason for me to quit. And most especially, it's very hard to leave. Among all things that happened to me in UP, DebSoc is the loveliest, the sweetest and the greatest. I have never been happier and I couldn't ask for more. The relationship that we have established among us is so solid that it makes it hard for a person to leave it. Leaving DebSoc behind is easier said than done. So scratch it. I'm not leaving. And I actually owe the reasons why I'm still surviving in UP to DebSoc. So there. I think this one's already a decent update. Haha.

And oh, contradictory to one of my previous entries, I didn't get a Moto Krzr. I got this instead. The pink one. Isn't it adorable? Haha. I named it Daphne.

And as I have promised: pictures!












Sorry if most of them are stupid. I just took them when I was alone at the dorm. Haha. There was nothing to do. I'd take pictures during our debate trainings and I'll upload them here and I'll introduce my new great friends. Haha. I also uploaded much pictures in Friendster. Check them out there nalang. :)

I'll make an entry before I leave on Sunday. :) Miss you all!

So long

I have been really lusting to update this thing 'decently' but sadly, I really do not have time to do so. Blah. With all these university-related things to do, who would have time?

So far, I'm doing all right here. I love the freedom I'm having. Don't get me wrong, all I'm doing here is purely clean fun. Haha. And yes, I'm very happy. When we get to talk, maybe I'll be able to tell you the reasons why. I have never been happier in my entire life.

There's a departmental long exam in Zoology 10 tomorrow so I have to cut this short.

I'll be uploading picture soon! :) Promise.

Now licensed to debate

so as this post's title goes guys, I am now somehow licensed to debate; or for this matter, maybe 'semi' licensed since I am still just a trainee. On September finally, I'll be 'fully' licensed. Err. Nonsense. Shame.

Baby, I got into UP Debate Society.

Isn't that great? It is.:)

I'm still alive and I'm not putting this thing on a halt. :)
It's just that I'm too busy with academics and all university whatevs. I'm not complaining. I'm loving all of these. There's debate training everyday and I just really love it. DebSoc is love.:) Love love love love.

I also would want to apologize that I don't reply that much to your SMS messages. I'm really busy with things and blah. Miss you all.

**21 minus 17 equals 4. Hmm..Well, 4 years isn't really a large age gap. :) Haha. It's not what you're thinking. Labo.

I'll make a more decent entry next time.:D There's a Geo quiz waiting for me.

but you're still holding my hand

It's already sinking into me that yes, I'm leaving. And for nights, my brother is just making it more difficult for me to leave. We've been crying ourselves to sleep the past nights. At first I find it such a big ridicule that my brother started crying when I told him I'll be leaving soon. But shit, the next thing I knew is that I'm crying with him. I don't know how to explain it. Jumping unto a pool of emotions was never my expertise at all.

By the way, finally. I'm having a new phone tomorrow. It's final. But I still don't know what to have. I went home here yesterday and found out that my mom bought new clothes for me to wear. She updated my wardrobe without telling me. The sad part is, I have really gained A LOT of weight and it hurts to know that my waistline increased. She had 3 skinny jeans for me but unfortunately, nothing of those three would zip. Holy shit. I need college stress for me. Only stress works for me. Don't get me wrong. Kasya naman s'ya. It's just that it won't really zip. Waistline is the problem. Haha. And I want to clarify that I didn't ask for skinny jeans. My mom had it for me without asking me or whatsoever. Don't worry, I admit that I'm too big for skinny jeans. But I realized that they're not that bad-looking with me. So all's good and all right. I just really HAVE to trim my body down. Sayang. Tatlo rin yun.

I've made up my mind: I'm having a Moto Krzr K1 Fire tomorrow. :D Moto fan na ako forever. Haha. :P 4 years ulit ito bago mapalitan. Or who knows, kung di naman nasira yung phone ko, I won't change eh. I hope this one would last really for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

I love Kim Rae Won

Here's an update with my schedule next week.

June 4 [Monday] - will be going home to Quezon City
June 5 [Tuesday] - will be fixing my things
June 6 [Wednesday] - will finalize and get things fixed up
June 7 [Thursday] - will have lunch with Tita Marsha
June 8 [Friday] - will be with someone at The Block and will get back to Novaliches again
June 9 [Saturday] - will fetch Tito Renchie and cousins from the airport
June 10 [Sunday] - goodbye choova
June 11 [Monday] - will finally leave

I actually only have 2 days for me to get things all fixed up. I still need a lot of things. I need shoes! Seriously. I need good footwear. Ayoko ng tsinelas, madudumihan paa ko. Ayoko ng rubber shoes, masakit sa paa. I need something good for my feet.

And I have to have my hair cut again and colored. That's a must.
I also have to visit my ophthalmologist to have my grades upgraded? Err. I do not know the right term. I might have contact lenses instead since for me, wearing glasses is a physical hassle. I don't like how I look like with glasses.

So with so little time, how?

Friends, update me with your schedules. Tell me which day of the week will you be most free so that I can call you in those days if ever I get sad. :) Thanks!

Why is it not a happy period?

It's absolutely ridiculous that the past weeks I've been only thinking of one main thing: a new study habit for me in college. Haha. I italicized the word 'study' because I don't really know what that word means. I mean, I don't study as in study. When I was in high school [Haha. Why do I speak as if I was in high school eonaeons ago?], I merely depended and survived with my stupid studious moods. By that I mean, there were just instances that I feel very studious and I read and read a lot my lessons in advance that's why I didn't need to go for an in-depth notes and book scanning before quizzes and exams. I was contented with that because with all fairness to me, I had quite pretty [what an adjective] grades without even trying too hard. Well, for college. I don't want to have that ocassional habit. It sucks. It doesn't make my good performance consistent. Wala, wala akong kapupuntahang maganda kapag ganun. I think for college I will have more time for thorough studying and I should use that time wisely. Kung di, yari ako talaga.

My head aches too much. Ang sakit shit. Hindi nga ako nagkakaroon ng dysmenorrhea which is very common among women pero here comes an excruciating head ache. I don't like it. Err. What a statement; who likes headaches anyway?

For your information, I'm still here at my paternal grandparents' place. I'll be coming back home at June 3. June 4 onwards will be such a very busy week for me because I still have a lot of things to fix. I'll be leaving Manila on June 10 and I don't know when I'll be back again. Maybe I'll be coming for short stays in Manila once in every two weeks or maybe not if I'm too busy and uhh, too lazy? Haha. Hopefully, I'll be back for good on November 2007. A lot of friends are texting me and asking me when can I be available before school starts because they want to at least hang-out with me before I leave. Before I set the date May 19 but because I am not allowed to go out that much here, I wasn't able to make it. As much as I want to spend time with you guys, I really can't assure and give a date because there are still a lot of things waiting for me. Sorry. :( I hope that wouldn't put a strain in our relationship. :) There are still plenty of chances to come. Semestral break is just so near. Yes, believe me. It's nearing [ano ba yun, wala pa nga tas sem break na ang nasa isip]. I'll be back soon. Keep in touch, okay? Please don't forget me. Haha. :) And when I send you SMS, please reply as best as you can. Wala lang; para okay diba? :)

See you all in October/November 2007! I'll miss you all!

P.S. I do not know if I'll be still using Yahoo! Messenger that much. I haven't been on-line for weeks now if you noticed. If you wish to say something to me, just use the tagboard/Friendster/Multiply/SMS. :)

No, not anymore

I went to Vinzons yesterday to do some things for my cousin.

Shet. Yun lang masasabi ko. I'm going back again today and the thought scares the hell out of me. Kung pwede sanang wag na.

No, hindi dahil sa mahabang pila or what.

Basta ayoko na. Ayoko nang ganun!! Nakakaiyak. Halos madapa-dapa na ako sa pagbaba mula sa 3rd floor ng Vinzons. Howwwwwwwwwly shit.

Wag mo nang itanong, baka ayaw mong malaman.

Biolohista!

Math 11 - Algebra [I really hope and pray that it's really just Algebra. Or else, I'll be dead.
SocSci 10 - The Filipino Family [I don't know what it is but I chose it because it sounds easy and Psych 10 which is Psychology for Everyday Life which is my first Soc. Sci. subject wouldn't fit in my schedule]
Geo 11 - Geology 11? I really don't know what this is. It's one of my major and required subjects. Ugly.
PE 2 - [Cheerdance]. AHAHAHA. Okay, stop laughing. I don't like Running anymore--it's too boring. Haha. Cheerdance is a new and exciting thing. Dude, I can dance; you just didn't see me do the thing. I'm multi-talented, you know. Haha.
SpComm10 - Basic Speech Communication - I chose this because I think it's fun. Haha. I want to be well-rounded that's why I chose not stick to too much Science. Gusto ko maging cool din naman kahit papaano at hwag naman mabarok dahil puro nalang Science! Haha.
Zoology 10 - Fundamentals of Zoology - I don't know if I'm going to like it but I know I must because it's a major. Poor me, I might be the only UP student taking a major in her first year. :(

Okay so as you can see, Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be my first semester hell days! I have three straight classes. Two of which are major and departmental subjects which I cannot afford to have academic delinquencies [Math 11 & Geo 11]. I don't know if I'd do good in PE2. Haha. Kunyari nalang dati na akong pep tapos na-injure lang ako kuno kaya hindi na makagawa ng stunts. Magchee-cheer nalang ako para maganda. Hello, as if you don't know me? I can pull off things when I work out on it. Kaya yan! Wala na akong dapat katakutan. Yun lang 'yon. Homesickness lang ang magiging kalaban ko pag andun na ako. Oh well.

I have 'long weekends'. Sarap. :)

I shook Quezon City Mayor Sonny Belmonte's hand today. Actually, he shook mine. Blurr. Get the point? No, it wasn't during a campaign thing--well, sort of. I want to see Chiz Escudero. Haha. Vote for him pala! :)

Sakitin ka kasi

My condition has gone worse. I now even have rashes all over my body because of my body's reaction to the virus. :(

I've been reading Harper's Illustrated Biochemistry again this summer. Like what I've said before, I'm going to spend most of my time reading books to load-up my poor puny brain with new things. Harper's book has been my reference way back in 2nd year High School Biology. I rarely read the book that we had for exams because everything else was there in Harper's. I'm back to Krebs Cycle now. Haha.

Anyway, I checked on Hanyang Medical School in Seoul's site and checked on the requirements for medical school studies there. Going there to study Medicine is one of my goals after my undergraduate studies in UP [naks, wala pa nga may plans na] because Hanyang is one of the top medical schools in Asia. And according to a lot of medical materials I've read, South Korea offers a great deal when it comes to Asian and Oriental Medicine. I found out that the process of application there is very difficult and quite a hassle. They still require foreign students to have this Langueagee Prougrams that they offer when the fact is they will be using English medical books naman. Hay nako. It's not that I don't want to learn the foreign language but I think it's just pointless. Isn't it that they should be the one to study English instead? Here in the Philippines, we don't have Tagalog-written medical books. But I saw their Med School curriculum and it's really nice. They even have Foot Surgery included in their curriculum. Foot Surgery. Isn't that uncanny and nice? Haha. Of course they have Biochimstry and Mouleculare Biology. Haha. I don't want the to take the Language Program. I won't be needing that much since they said that all instructions in lectures are in English and not in Korean. Oh well, since I really want to enter Hanyang, I guess I have to take their Langueagee Prougrams.

Everyone here in home laughs whenever they see my very very fat face. I laugh, too when I see myself in the mirror. I do not look like my old self anymore. Mukhang kargador ng siopao sa Binondo ang mukha ko. I'm scary. Madeline doesn't even recognize me. She's not going to me whenever I call her. :( And it really aches like hell. It's been three days that I've been waking up in midnight because of the pain and it just sucks that the pain reliever won't effect that fast--and I can't take pain relievers more than once a day because that would burn my liver off. The rashes are very red, hot and itchy especially at night. I don't know if my face would still be bigger the next days because it's just Day 3 today--and this viral infection commonly lasts for 2 weeks. My front teeth also ache now because of the different biting position due to the inflammation of the parotid glands just beside the molars. Everything's painful and ugly :(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KRIZZA ABILLAR! I MISS YOU NA, BES! [APRIL 15] :) I'M SORRY I WASN'T ABLE TO GO TO YOUR PLACE YESTERDAY :( I'M SICK.

Up again

Okay now I know. I may have probably developed a sleep disorder due to my abusive sleeping habits in the first weeks of summer. I sleep early but wake up too early. I was very productive these past two days of the week and hell, I swear I am dog-tired. At around 7pm, I went to my room and flopped without caring about how messy my room is. And yes, I woke up too early. 1am. And the same thing happened to me today. So whatevs, I can't sleep now whatever I do. I've been already curling myself for almost an hour and have been trying different sleeping 'positions' but I still cannot sleep. That's why I ended here, hoping that my eyes would be heated up by the radiation rays of the monitor and I would be [hopefully] able to sleep.

I went to UP today. You know what I love about commuting and riding public transportation vehicles? It allows me to observe a lot of different people. You get to know a lot of things when you commute. You learn a lot when you do that. Always, always. Another thing that I love doing whenever I'm out of the home is walking on a nice place. I like walking no matter how long the distance is when the place is nice. I went to UP today and just walked inside the campus although I've been really itching to have a Toki ride because I was already lost. But hey, I thought I need to learn how to get to my destination the hardest way before I do the easier way. It didn't matter too much to me since walking has been almost a therapeutic treat for me.

Seeing a lot of girls my age with boyfriends and having PDAs/PDEs alarms me. I always remember TeenSTAR whenever I come to instances like this. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way but it's just not good to see young teen-age couples hugging/cuddling while in or walking in malls. Eeew. Eeew. Err. Yuck. Definitely that's one of the situations I would never see myself in. PDAs/PDEs? No way. And now that I'll be soon entering college, I still don't think that I'm going to be in the same situation. I don't even think that I'll be having this thing they call special someone in college since my goals have been already set and I think having one would just hinder me from attaining them. Nobody knows how desperate and paranoid I am when I have thoughts of entering med school after 4 years of undergraduate studies in the university. I won't forgive myself if I'd do something that would just pull me down. I would love to have a good social life when I get to college--I'll be needing that to lighten up the pressure a little bit and of course for me to grow and learn things, too; but I think having a special someone would be last in the list. And as one friend puts it, if ever madala ako, you won't see me PDA-ing or PDE-ing around. No mushy schmaltzy things that may lead to somewhere. I'd always put in mind all the things in TeenSTAR; all those things are tools for me to get into the right way. Haha. I really do appreciate the subject although it was just a minor one when I was in my senior year in high school. It's so useful.

Oh my. I hate this. I am not yet sleepy.

--
I check my e-mail today and look what I found. This is ridiculous and very funny. Errr. Some crazy girl friend nominated me in this thing. Haha! I do not know if I'd be happy or if I'd be shy or what. Whatevs. It's still kind of flattering. Haha. :)

details of events

Since I was a kid, I have never known any other college. It was put to mind by the people I live with that I should go there. And I am destined to be there. And as I grew older, being there has been my ultimate academic dream and the process I have undergone just to be there wasn't as easy as the others'. But now I'm close to it, I just can't feel that I'm happy.

After all the CETs last year, I have dreamt of passing Ateneo but imagined myself going to UP. That dream I had never came true and honestly, that made me bitter because I just couldn't accept the fact that many deserving people passed and many UNdeserving people incredibly passed as well. I know that for other people, I may be one of those 'undeserving people', too; and it's just really unfortunate for me to not be able to be included in the list of 'undeserving people who passed'. Since there was nothing I could do about it and wouldn't want to force myself into an institution who could not offer a slot to me, I let all the bitterness pass. Goodbye Ateneo, I have never known you. The next week came and I came to school seeing ecstatic batchmates. Hey, hey! UPCAT results came out. Here I felt most terrified thinking of possible results since I didn't make it in the great A. And you know the rest of the events. Days passed and here comes a result again. Now, from UST. And wow, that was truly an ego boost for me. I passed both my choices. Degree programs which UST is known for and degree programs that people often choose but people also often fail to be qualified. I may have not shown it but I was happy and I looked forward to going to UST but you know what happened.

I am not going to UST Nursing, I'm going to UP though there were a lot of times when I thought of going to UST Nursing instead. There was even an instance wherein I was already about to confirm my slot there because I was blinded just by the thought of the monetary benefits I'd have if I'd go to UST Nursing. But I'm not sure if I'd be happy with all those monetary benefits I'd be having if ever. And I do not want to be confined in UST's high school-ish society. I feel that if I'd go there, it's like not leaving high school at all. I won't grow there. I need to be in somewhere where I could do a lot of things; where I would be part of the real society. That's why I chose to be in there.

You know what's weird? I'm not happy about it. I am not really happy. I don't know why. :( I'm even more excited for my DLSU friends who'll be already stepping to college this May. I wonder how I would feel on my first day on college. There are questions in my mind like what will I wear? how will I make friends? will I get along well with the opposite sex because I'm from an all-girl school? will there be 'introduce yourself' sessions in the class? Too many questions, only one day will answer. I just hope it'll work out fine. I wonder how difficult my academics will be. I just hope I'd be able to manage all with a little bit of extra-curricular. College is for real so there's no sense playing because if I'd do that, I'll be dead.

I have not done anything productive yet. In May I will. I will be teaching Korean Brent kids grammar in English. Those kids are the children of my grandaunt's Korean tenant in Ayala Alabang. Their past English teacher which is a Filipina by the way, borrowed 200,000 pesos from them and never came back that's why they asked my mom to refer an English grammar teacher who is trustworthy. I asked my mom how much would be the rate for each session and the rate is overly great. So why not? Haha. I suppose they know a little bit English naman because those kids are studying at Brent International School. International school, baby! They won't survive there not knowing English. Haha. My mom said she has met the kids and she told me that they're pretty fine and they just really need to work on their grammar and pronunciation.

I'll be 5-figures richer than all of you guys! 55,555. Haha. :)

HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY MAXIROSE BERNARDINO ENRIQUEZ! LOVE YOU. :)

puny high schooler no more

You know what I like about short hairs? It's the fact that you don't have to brush it always and fix it up for it to look manageable and neat. For busy and lazy women, short hair is very ideal because it's simply wash 'n wear. :)

I should undergo medical and dental examinations blah blah and blah for university admission so later I will be calling The Medical City to schedule myself for a medical and dental check-up. Great! I like it there although it's quite far. It's okay since I get free 'services' and treatments there. I actually would like to try going to the posh Asian Hospital and Medical Center in Alabang but my mom said there's no need and that it would be too impractical to go far even though I can get checked-up there for free; and whatever diagnosis will be, it would just be the same wherever hospital. I like hospitals. They're cold, white, and very clean. This is weird but I do love the 'hospital scent'. Funfunfun!

It's really weird that despite the beating sun this summer, I do not really feel the humid and heat unlike before. I seriously look crazy wearing a long-sleeved shirt [duh, she always wears long-sleeved tops] and a pajama right now. I have been like this the past few days. I look someone sick living in Alaska who feels really cold. I do feel cold and I don't sleep with the fan on these days; but I am not sick. This is so uncanny. I am so uncanny. I will forever be uncanny.

But I love that fact. :)

*Aww. there would be no more blog entries put in my high school category because high school's over. :( I am now an incoming college freshman! It hasn't sunk in yet. [now this last statement is the only thing related to this entry's title. haha]

nadadala nalang

(click to enlarge)

I don't really see why I have to have 4 math subjects in college. This is one of the reasons why I became hesitant to pursue this degree. Ang dami masyadong Math. Okay, hindi marami, apat lang. Pero hello, I really doubt if I would excel because most probably, Math will pull me down. Always, always, always. With this, I just realized that I'm actually pitting myself into all the difficult subjects in high school. Bio, Chem, Physics, and chenen! Math! This course makes me sad because it means that I'll be confining myself inside the nerdy-academic abode. Nerdy-academic. What? Nerdy-academic. YUCK. I fear that taking this degree program would hinder my personal growth since there will be no much subjects that would be dealing with the 'real social world'. I'll be spending a lot of time in my books, in the university's lab, blah blah blah nananananana. How sad. Ang lungkot naman. Haha; inulit pa eh.

On the other hand, I saw something nice:

(click to enlarge)

it's nice, isn't it? No heavy math. :) Haha.
But I'm still trying Bio though. If I'm not happy with it, I'll shift.

My mom told me to stop looking at the curriculum of different courses because this only makes me more confused. I don't really know what to do with my life now. I thought I already knew but not I'm coming closer, I am confused and very unsure. Poor me. :(

p.s.
the gold notebook that the juniors gave us a while ago in the turn-over ceremony is really nice. I love it. :)

I can't hear.

Graduation is next week.
Surely, I'll be missing all of them.
Will be entering college in 3 months time.
I still don't know what to pursue.

In the past few weeks, I've been thinking of what I really want to be. They said imagining yourself in 10 years would be a big help. In my case, it isn't. To LS or to MS? Now I do not know. Too many forces are acting on me, causing me to change my mind; my vision. I hate this. Nobody could help me, I cannot even help myself.

I'm leaving for a cold "far-away" land for my first year of college; then I'm entering the university's flagship campus next year. Hopefully, with a clear goal to achieve. When I said this matter to some of my friends and some of my relatives, their initial reactions were all negative. Let me quote this: "bakit mo naman kailangan magpakalayo pa para mag-isip? pwede naman mag-isip dito." Let me answer that. Paano naman ako makakapag-isip kung ang daming pakialemero't pakialamera katulad niyo?

Can't they just understand that it's me who's going to study and work for this career?
Why do they have to get themselves involved with other people's lives??
I don't like this.

I hope everything will be just fine when I get there.
I hope I will be enlightened; because I need to in order to get to something good.

EEW.

Don't mind my post's title.
That's the only thing I've got to say the moment I hopped off my school bus.
They're sooooo 1992. When will they ever be mature?
Never mind.

We had our last Anal. Geom period today. Oh, thank God! Not that I don't like Ms Lagud but I just don't like the subject. It's quite easy but I don't really find interest in it. I don't like Math. Period. We're done with Physics [FINALLY!] I can now burn my book. Haha. Kidding. I think I'll be attached to that subject in the next five years. Not four years, five years. Later you'll know why.

Four more days to go and I can finally slack off! Freedom is within our reach, finally!

Now tell me, to UP or to UST?
I passed the UST interview na and I am so in. I saw the list of programs that can accommodate me in UP. One of which I'm having as an option is BS Physics. BS what? BS Physics, my dear. Haha. :) I've got no problem with Physics. I'm quite good in the subject. I'm just worried that I might not find my course interesting in the coming years and I will end up in regrets. Nursing in UST on the other hand, would be a fine pre-med course.

Sus. BS Bio nalang sana mas masaya pa. O BA Socio. Oh well, the list's not final yet. I think I would have to wait until May to see all the courses that are available for me.

BS Physics, what do you think?
Not bad, isn't it?
If that would be the case then I could always shift.
Hinde, UST nalang; premiere med school eh.
Labo.

Parental Issues

It's just dismaying to know that my parents do not really trust me after all.

One of my friends told me that she might be occupying a condorm [condo/dorm hehe] unit near UST and she asked me if I want to share with her together with some friends. I liked the idea, of course; knowing that UST is really quite far from my place and I hate waking up very early for classes so I told my mom. They disagreed.

Para ano? Makalakwatsa?
Saan ka naman nakakita ng taga Quezon City na nag-dorm pa dyan lang sa España.

Diyan lang sa España. Wow. Diyan lang pala ha. Sige nga, ihatid niyo ako at sunduin araw-araw. Tignan natin kung di kayo magngitngit niyan dahil sa layo.

It's clear. They don't have faith in me. They think that I just want to move out because I'm excited of getting in to the real world--college that is. Probably they think in college, I'll be meeting someone, get a boyfriend, hang-out with him all day, all night long and have weird yet great sex in that condorm. Yes, that's what they think. Great.

Kinalaunan niyan, sa takot at hiya kong magpakilala sa kanila ng isang tao kahit na matanda na ako, eh hindi pa ako mag-aasawa niyan. Kawawa naman ako. :(

They want me to kill my social life. And take note, sinumbat pa nila sa'kin 'yung gimmicks ko. What the hey. I started gimmicking at 14, when I was in sophomore high. Come on, did I do something wrong? I'm still here, on the way to college, not pregnant, not high on drugs or something.

I'm so irritated now. I'm not irritated because I wasn't allowed to dorm.
I'm mad because they don't trust me.

Kung kelan pa ako tumanda, doon pa ako hinigpitan.

---
Our recollection's on Sunday. Yes, this Sunday.
Give me a palanca, please. :)
Thank you very much. :)

Daniel Henney! <3

An old classmate texted me this morning: Heyah! Musta na? Sana blockmates tayo sa UP! He said he saw my name in the list [BA Sociology daw] when he went to check at UP. Of course I didn't believe him since it has already sunk in to me that I didn't pass. Baka yun lang din 'yung akala ko na ako kasi Anne Clarisse Reyes yung name. So baka false alarm lang katulad nung sa Ateneo na inaway ko pa 'yung isa kong kaibigan kasi bwiset. The funny thing there is, sana blockmates tayo! Wahahaha. Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Okay, shut up. :|

Lagi nalang niyo ako niloloko pag dating sa mga ganyan! Hindi na ako magpapaloko at aasa ngayon. WAHAHAHAHAHA. Gusto ko na sa UST. Gusto ko na. Wag niyo baguhin yung isip ko, okay? :) Maybe the God has a better plan for me there. ULK. Haha. Siguraduhin lang niya. Hahahaha. :)

I'm hooked on Spring Waltz again--for the third time this is! hahaha. :)




..and meet my boyfriend, Daniel Henney. <3 hahahaha. :D Aaaaaaaaaaaah. One year now. Haha. :D Okay, wag nang patulan. :D

Bound to be there

There's no turning back. I'm entering UST for college. The course? Guess what: BS NURSING. I don't know what was I thinking when I wrote BS Nursing in my 1st choice course in my UST application. And I actually feel dismayed that I'm only waitlisted in my 2nd choice course: BS MEDTECH. That's the course I really want to get in! I should have put it in my first choice and maybe I'd get accepted there, not only waitlisted. Hay nako. Ang weird. I'm sure there are more people vying for a slot in BS Nursing than in Medtech, and why did I not get in? Waitlisted pa eh noh, UST na nga lang eh. Ang bobo, nakakaawa.

Person 1: don't feel bad, okay lang yan kahit Nursing ka kasi UST naman eh. hindi naman FEU, Fatima at kung saan saan dyan.
Person 2: ano ka ba. may standards ang UST nursing. bawal ang panget at pandak dun. [hanep, nanglait pa siya noh]
Person 3: alam mo ba sa UP Manila, bulok dun. [oo nga, naisip ko rin. pero UP pa rin yun!]

I'm actually okay with Nursing since I'm not taking it for my future career--I'm taking it as my pre-med course. Well aside from Medtech, it's the most ideal pre-med course since the lessons are very very close. The only reason why I don't like it is because people stereotyped Nursing students as students na ang tingin sa Nursing ay isang malaking hanapbuhay na maghahatid ng instant yaman. Wow, parang gusto ko na talaga mag-nurse sa abroad para naman yumaman ako agad. WAHAHAHAHA. JOKE LANG. DI KO GAGAWIN YUN. Okay, Clarissa, sinasabi mo lang 'yan kasi ayaw mong madismaya kasi mukhang sa UST ka na talaga. Wag ka na.

Okay, enough. Let's just see what will happen with my UP reconsideration then I'll choose which is better.

Peace SHoutS was actually quite uneventful and very very very boring. I enjoyed the Chubibo though. First time kong sumakay ng ride na mukhang tataob sa oras na humampas ang malakas na hangin. Every time we'd see rides like the Chubibo, my parents would always tell me not to ride rides of such kind because it's very dangerous. Well, I'm big now. I rode the chubibo 3 times! Haha. My last ride, enjoy talaga! Don't ask why. Haha. :)

The Baila was nice. But I think there are already too many members. I'm not impressed to the Aglaia and Pep now as I was impressed to them before. One thing, they seem to be very plenty in the group [Aglaia and Pep]. Second thing, it's like they accepted everyone else who auditioned. Baka ako kung nag-audition sa Aglaia pasok din. Haha. LOKO LANG. Baka may isang taong baduy dyan na seryosohin 'to tas lumikha ng issue. Haha.

The Bandaid was too expensive! Freefall lang na-enjoy ko eh. Sana sinama na rin nila pati Dalandan Soda para mas masaya talaga eh. I thought it would be actually nice since the theme for this year is Retro music. Aba, I was so wrong. There were bands na sobrang binaboy 'yung kanta ng Beatles. What happened to Strawberry Fields Forever when the 2nd to the last band played it? Jusko. Please lang, wag niyo nang ulitin. If I were one of the judges, I'd go for my batchmates' band, 93 Kilometers since sila lang 'yung hindi nambaboy sa mga kanta. Haha. Yes, I'm so biased.

One thing I hated in this fair the most: the freedom wall. Someone posted this:

Ate Clarissa, hi po! Ang galing mo, crush kita!

Great. Ang galing mo, hate kita! If you're thinking, "Ang feeling naman nito, akala naman niya siya lang ang Clarissa sa school." Haha. I wish it was not really me but someone told me. If you're reading this, I want to tell you this: may sayad ka ba? Haha. :) Pakilala ka naman. WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No classes tomorrow! Yehey! I have to start working for English week because I don't love the idea of getting eliminated first in the Oral Spelling Bee. Yeah, how up-to-earth 'no? Haha. :)

I'm thinking of entering Center for Pop Music again this summer. Swear, I'll take it seriously na.