'til then, farewell

I woke up this morning with the shocking news from my mom that her best friend, Tita Helen passed away in Bacolod (her province) weeks ago. She just heard the news from our helper's friend who happened to be Tita Helen's neighbor in Bacolod. My mom has been trying to contact Tita Helen for the past weeks, not knowing that she has already gone. This is freaky. My mom has only a few friends, really close friends and all of them have already passed away. It seems like a curse<--wth. If they don't die, they go insane. My mom has a close friend who got mentally insane (seryoso as in nabaliw siya talaga/may sakit sa utak/ wala sa sarili)

Tita Helen is the one who gave Madeline to us. She has this dog business. She used to be our neighbor and her house is really full of dogs of every kind. I hated going to her house way back then because her house smells bad (because of the dogs). Tita Helen is one of the most beautiful women I've seen. She's in her fifties but she just looks like in her thirties. She's chinese. Actually, the reason why she was named Helen because when she was born, her mother thought that she's the most beautiful among her sisters. She's the youngest. You know, Helen of Sparta, oh, of Troy pala--the most beautiful woman in the earth.

We're not close but I felt sad. It's really pretty weird that there are times these past weeks that the thought of her suddenly pops out my mind for no reason. Maybe that's what they call 'nagpaparamdam'. My mom feels bad because she can't contact any of Tita Helen's relatives now. The most uncanny thing is this: when we heard the news, I told Madeline "Madeline, patay na si Lola Helen mo." then she went inside the room and pondered. She lay flat on the floor and she was really looking sad. She was like that for about a couple of hours; and she refused to eat. That's no make up and it's really uncanny. Perhaps I can say that doggies have feelings to.

Tita Helen's son would have been my prom date last February 4, 2006 if matters weren't fixed. Haha. I just remembered. I guess all we have to do is to pray for her soul and may she rest in peace. I won't see her for a long time and the next time we'll meet would be eans more to go. 'Til then, Tita Helen. I'm gonna pray for you. :) Be happy, at least you're not suffering anymore now. :)

Fifteen down!

When was the last time I did something for the first time?

It's 1:10 am and I'm still awake. What's keeping me awake? Haha. I'm finishing all the episodes of the Korean drama, Love Story in Harvard in YouTube. Yeah, I know.. Super corny. But what the hey, the drama is good and I just want to make myself relaxed since I'm savoring the last days of my Undas-break. Haha. :D A lot of the scenes in the story made me go awwww. Haha. Yeah, super corny at baduy at naiiyak pa ako sa ibang scenes. Haha. Sorry na. The drama has sixteen episodes and I'm done with fifteen this morning. I'll watch the last one tomorrow, okay, later afternoon. Haha. :)

I wanna go to South Korea now. Don't get me wrong here, I sincerely and deeply love Filipinas. I just find South Korea really nice because it's so clean at ang Seoul na capital nila ay sobrang uncomparable sa Manila. Manila's really dirty. I wish they'd soap the street walls and repaint them. Sana maging ganun din ang Pilipinas someday.

I've got to sleep now. My mom wakes up very early every Saturdays and she might catch me here still in front of the computer. I don't wanna hear her nag. That's terrifying. Haha. :) I just suddenly remembered, last January 2005, when I was still a sophomore, I had the longest Y!M conversation in history. That is, from 6pm to 4am. Beat that. Haha.

Good morning! :)

Happy Birthday!

Our supposed-to-be visit to our relatives in Sta. Ana was cancelled because of certain matterts. Haha. Okay lang. I don't want to go there anyway because everytime I go there, people talk about school, talk about UP, talk about jobs, etc. It's as if there's no school life better than UP. I know of course that UP's really great but hello, with people like that? Gawd. They just can't get enough. I guess that's normal when UP people meet up together in a gathering. They don't have any other interesting topic to talk of. It’s always UP, UP-ikot, UP-flings, UP-girl/boyfriends, UP teachers, UP facilities topics for them. They can’t execute a flowing chit-chat with a new and waay more interesting topic.

I think we're just going to go to the grave of our late relatives tomorrow. My mom said tomorrow night. I don't know what's up with her and she's into something really ridiculous. I don't want to go to cemeteries at night because I'm scared. Yeah, so childlike. Sige nga, hindi ka ba matatakot? You can go during daytime so why still care to go at night? Sadista.

So practically I'm doing nothing really productive these days. Oh, I did one. That is, I washed my schoolbag because it's already dirty. I did that just now, before having this entry. After lunch, I watched Impakto in ABS-CBN and the movie was really funny. My brother and I were laughing our asses off because of the supposed-to-be scary hilarious movie. You know in halloween, the movies aren't really scary. What I find scary are the documentaries about ghosts, lost spirits, etc. I have watched several documentary shows in TV these past few days and I really got scared to the bone because I know it's real. I just hate it when they feauture 'sapi' cases because it's obviously fake. People being featured are only faking it. Damn it. Sana sapian talaga kayo para malaman niyo kung ano'ng ginagawa niyo. There was one featured who claimed that the spirit of the late President Ferdinand Marcos was making sapi in her. Grrr. Fake. Fake. Fake. Synthetic! So back to what I was saying a while ago, I'm not doing anything really. After watching Impakto, I slept and woke up at 6:30 pm.

I've been listening to the musing of Queen, Depeche Mode, Beatles and VST & Co. all day. Yeah, I know. Music of the oldies. Now, I'm playing an album of VST & Co. on loop. I just love their music. It's very very good Filipino music. Come on, admit it. OPM now is really not good at all. The artists can't think of good songs, good melodies. The theme of their music is always love, love, love, I got busted, my heart's broken, I'm always thinking of you, you can't get out of my head, I'll be here for you, I'll let go, ulan, ulan, ulan, blah. Artists nowadays revive the songs of before which only proves that the OPM songs before are really waaaaay better than those of today. For instance, the recent revival of the APO Hiking Society's songs. And another thing for that, I really enjoy listening to old music more than listening to now generation's music. Yeah, weird for me. I'm only sixteen. I just turned sixteen. I'm not even that updated to the latest music. I don't know Up Dharma Down's and Imago's songs. Haha. I'm not even sure if I already heard them sing. I don't listen to the radio that much. I only get to listen to it when I get into my cramped school bus. and most of the time, I here the super nakakasawa nang pakinggan song by Kamikazee, Narda/Darna whatever crap. Can't they just make the playing of that song into halt because everytime I hear it, I wanna vomit. It's so novelty. Wala na bang iba? Kantang nakakasawa, paulit-ulit pinakikinggan.

I so love old music, especially that of the 90s, 70s and 80s. If you're going to see my music files here in the computer or in my data stick, you'd rarely see new songs. I remember last christmas, I had no time to buy presents for the honeys so I just downloaded new songs and burnt it on a CD. Gawd, I hated Cueshe so much. So
much. So much. So much. They suck. I tried to listen and enjoy the songs but I found my old songs more fun and enjoyable. Haha. but you know, I have been dancing with My Humps for weeks now. Blah. I have been enjoying Queen, Depeche Mode, and of course the one that really rocks my socks (this is the first time ever that I used that grade school-ish line) VST & Co. Who wouldn't agree? That group is just so adorable. Try listening to two or three of their songs and you'll find yourself singing and dancing through it. Again, I know. It's so freaking old and Vic Sotto is even older than my parents. But what the hey, they're really cool. I love them. How I wish I was born in the 60s so that as a teenager, I was able to experience the joy of being a die-hard VST & Co. fan; going to every show that they have, collecting memorabilias, autographs, pictures, marrying Vic Sotto--shit, this is insane! Haha. Who knows what would happen if I was born in the 60s? Maybe if I were, I'd be super carefree and liberated. Woohoo. Great loose life! Maybe I'd be a showbiz star because during that time, only a few are interested in show business unlike now there are a lot of bitches vying to be seen on screen. And who knows if I became a showbiz star in the 60s, Vic Sotto and I would make it good and happy together. Yeah, super insane now. Forgive me. :) We'll never know. Haha. Stop it. I know I'm looking like a crazy ass now.

I encourage you to listen to VST & Co. and develop true love for good OPM. It's way better than the ulan ulan blues by Cueshe. Blahdeblihbladebitchblech. If we're in the same generation, ask your parents or sige na nga, grandparents kung talagang iniinsulto mo ako about it and I doubt that they'd say a bad comment about their music. Love, love, love it.

Speaking of really bad music, my neighbor is singing Banyo Queen and songs by Blakdyak in Magic Sing. Sheesh. Too much for halloween.

Oh before I forget, it’s my birthday today! I’m quite happy actually and I’m uhh.. yeah, contented. I’m
saying that flatly. When I woke up, I immediately checked my phone because I was actually expecting for a lot of text messages from friends and relatives well because, it’s my day! Haha. I received only one message this morning and that was from blue_archer123. Yeah. Only him, her, whatever. In the afternoon, I received messages from Ellanie, Sheila, and Tita Marsha. I logged on to Y!M and the people who greeted me were only Danica, Ariane, and Zor. So kung sino ‘yung mga pangalan na nakikita niyo rito, yun lang ang friends na nag-greet sa’kin. Oh, I won’t forget Paula Alcantara. Skim through the names. Yeah, really only a few. In Friendster, there was one who sent me a birthday message: Rye, Tita Marsha’s fiancée. That’s all. Haha. :D I remember my birthday post last year. I was so joyous because really a lot of people greeted me on my day. October 31, 2006 was so dry. My long-time best friend, Paola did not greet me. She did not give me a call unlike what she does every year since we met. Danica (not Perez), a long-time friend, too did not greet me. My cousins did not. They called the house kanina to say something else but did not bother to greet me. Bastos. Daming nakalimot :( Haha. Again, thank you to Erica Trinidad, Trixie Cruz, Ariane Libongco, Zor Abad, Ellanie Recalde, Paula Alcantara, Sheila Liwanag, Marsha Reyes, Rye Gonzales Ayie Laxamana, and some classmates who greeted me last October 28^th (Via, Ces, Raissa, Marianne R., Phyl Santos, Ria, etc.) Thanks! ‘Yung mga wala ang pangalan diyan na hindi naman nag-greet, bitter ako towards you, guys. Haha. Kidding. Ay hinde, bitter talaga ako. Ay joke lang. Bahala kayo. I hate you. Exagg, joke.

It's a new USB for me! Yeah, with a larger memory. Yeah, really large. So now I've got 3 USBs here. All of the same brand, all birthday gifts. My mom also gave me one last year. Feel ko tinatamad lang siya bumili ng any other gift. Pwede na ako actually magbenta ng USB dito. Haha. I asked my mom why she gave me a bigger USB and this was her answer: basta, bagay yan sa Apple mo. I really did not understand what that Apple means. Everytime I hear the word apple, an appalling creature pops out of my mind. Haha. Who? All the people in my batch knows who. I won't put it here because the school might file a case against me and I might get conduct probation for this. Oho-kay, I know it's shallow but you know, school rules sometimes get overly shallow and unreasonable.

So Apple. Hmm. Haha. Maybe someone extremely rich and generous would be giving me an Apple Macintosh Notebook. Haha. I would love to have that. Or maybe, there's an Apple iPod for me. Haha. I'd just have to wait for that. There's a hint given by my mom there. But I don't want that. I still want a green/purple/orange/black accordion file case. :( It's always like this. There are better things given to me and I ask for things that aren't here and are less better than the things I have. I never get contented. I ask for more, more, more. Human nature, dude. People never get contented. That's why I hate it when CL classes in school say be contented with what you have. People are like crocodiles, lusting for what they want, lusting for what they do not have, lusting for the most pleasure they can get. The one who'd say that he/she is not like this is a big offspring of hypocrisy.

My quarter-break is ending (I believe that we high schoolers should not use the term 'sem-break' because it is only for college people and we don't even have a sem) and I haven't fixed my school things yet. This is really weird of me because usually when it's school break, I fix all my things, wash all my sneakers even though I did not use them for a long period of time, etc. blahdeblihbitchblahdah.

How was my sixteenth birthday? I woke up smelling the pungency of my favorite breakfast--longanisa from Lucban, Quezon. Gawd! I loved it. The last time I had that was years ago and it was really my favorite viand for breakfast. I like that longanisa because it's not malansa. It has ginger and garlic in it and I think that's what it makes it really delicious. We heard mass at 6 am and went home at around 7. At church, I saw my grandmother's colleagues (my grandmother is now in Canada) and they were all saying things like ay, eto na pala yung batang makulit na dala ni Ate Fe noon, ang laki laki laki na! dalaga na ano! Grr. I hate it when people say that. Para bang ang laki laki ko talaga. AT yung dalaga eklat, josko. Kaawaan. Mas gusto ko pang sabihan nalang ako ng binata na ano kesa naman dalaga. eew. kadiri. I really don't like it when people call me dalaga, dalagingding, dalagita, and the worst: malaking bulas. eeew. kadiri talaga. Anyway, I was kind of nostalgic a while ago when I saw my lola's friends. When my lola was still here in the country, she used to bring me with her when they have prayer meetings, fellowships, and the like. And me, being the mischievous kid, I'd eat and eat and eat all the snack being given to me. I'd play in the playground all by myself since I enjoy that more than playing with someone else. My lola won't mind if I run around and around and if I'd let her buy any food that I want. Yes, food, not candies, not junkfood. Real food as in may kanin, spaghetti, bbq, sandwich, blah. My lola was also the one teaching me before because she was a teacher in profession. She'd teach me in math and I remember she got mad at me because I didn't memorize the multiplication table of 4. Damn! That was the multiplication table that I found most difficult to memorize. Way back then, my penmanship was really bad and she thought that I might be left-handed that's why she let me write with my left hand--and this is the reason why I can write for a short period of time with my left hand, too. She was also the one who brought me to the hospital when I got bitten by the stupid askal of our neighbor. She was also the one who accompanied me when I took my kinder entrance test in MC before. She was the only one who watched my play way back in kinder. My role was that of a bat as in paniki and I killed Reyna Filipina. Rawr. Nice role. I miss my lola. Now, she has other grandchildren to look at there in Ontario. :( Haha. I know I'd be still the most special because I'm her one and only granddaughter. Wahaha. Poor them. So ordinary.

So this is how people celebrate birthdays. It's just an ordinary day, really. I like the yuletide seasons more because I receive more. Haha. And I can feel the spirit. I don't even treat my birthday a special one. Blah. It's only great for me because there are no classes. Now I'm sixteen. I'm older. I wanna be just fourteen forever. When I was fourteen, I was just carefree and loose. That's how I believe youth should be. Haha. Bad me. Too shallow perception of youth.

I really appreciate those people who greeted me happy birthday. I loved the pens Trixie and Ariane gave me, thank you honeys. :) Erica Trinidad again who was the first one to greet me. Ellanie Recalde who'd give me an accordion file case. Haha. I'm still hoping. Zor, Sheila, Danielle who were also there when we had the blast last Saturday. Yay, thank you. :D My brother who greeted me the moment I woke up: happy birthday, Boss. Don't ask why boss. Haha. I bully him that's why he calls me Boss. Haha.

This is a long entry. I've noticed that I've been blogging for everyday. Haha. There's nothing to do really here.

I'm already sixteen but no sweet sixteen. I'm not and will never be sweet. Ulk. I'm bitter. Haha. :D

Bye folks, love you. <<- Ick. I sound like a plastic showbiz personality here. Grrr. What's happening?! I’m having bouts of fixation with these frustrations. Whoo. That rhymed. Haha. :) Bear with me, I love you, you know. Haha. Yeah. Lurrrrrrrve you very very very much. :D

In Time

I want a new watch. I'm a watch addict when I was a kid and I had all watches with different Sanrio characters except Hello Kitty. I don't like cats. I browsed through Swatch's official website and found a lot of things that I like there. I want to have all that I want there so I really have to study hard hard hard! Yeah, this is the reason why we guys study, to have good professions in the future and to earn big bucks. You're absolutely insane if you don't think about that. Unfortunately for me, there's a plan of entering med school so I've got to groove my ass for 12 more years to earn (unless I'm going to pass INTARMED in UP--you know, the 7-year med school program; hah, imposible!) I should have taken the entrance test in DLSU and chose their 6-year med school program (Human Biology) grr. tanga. Pero ayoko naman dun eh.

Now I suddenly realized what I really want for my day. It's no accordion file case. :( And speaking of that, I have received no file case yet. I received a lot of pens (6 pens), a bag, a body butter from Body Shop which I really need because my legs and arms get scaly in aircon. I'll be waiting for the rest tomorrow and I want an accordion file case. I need it. Grrrr. Ellanie promised me that she'll buy me one then she said last night na hindi na raw. :( I guess I'd buy that myself. I'd be meeting my nerd relatives on Wednesday kasi pupunta kami sa patay. Why nerd? Kasi karamihan sa kanya graduated/studying at UP. I know they'd be asking me my UPCAT experience then they'd say things like "Kumusta UPCAT? sabi ko sa'yo hindi ganun kahirap eh" Blahdeblihblahdablech. Suckers. Oops. They might be able to read this. haha. :D ERICA TRINIDAD WAS THE FIRST ONE TO GREET ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HAHA. I didn't count Ellanie because she was joking my ass off everytime she greets me. Yaha. Thanks, dudette--even though it was advance. :)

Me: Mama, ano'ng oras ako pinanganak?
Mama: ano? nino?
Me: anong nino? eh di pinanganal mo.
Mama: aah. akala ko pinapahanap.
Me: ano ba yun.
Mama: alas dos
Me: ng?
Mama: madaling araw. kaya ang tapang mo eh
Me: anong kinalaman nun?
Mama: ganun daw yun sabi sa Feng Shui
Me: ha? ano? pati ba naman tao. naniwala ka naman
Mama: oo kita mo ngayon, he!
Me: ha?
Mama: nyee. nakakatakot ka. papasok na nga ako. maaga gigising bukas ah dahil magsisimba, birthday mo.
Me: ayoko. aga aga

:) new layout. this one's better. ito ang layout na pinaghirapan ko talaga. grr. Blogger sucks. All the colors in this layout are my favorite colors. From green to orange.

Let's End This

I wanna end all these. I have to have courage and strength to end it all.

Don't ask. You'll just learn when the time comes.

Fall 2006

Yesterday was all right! Well, except for the stupid jeepney driver that made go down even though we're not yet in our destination and except for the kidly conflicts that happened in NBS. We watched Txt yesterday and I swear that it's one of the scariest movies I've watched. Oh-kay, take that from me who seldom watches horror films. It was scary because I think the idea of the movie sank unto me and I felt as if I'm one with the movie characters. Although the movie was quite shallow, it was still scary. The movie was pretty good, except for the dismayingly hanging ending.

Trixie and Ariane gave me four Parker pens (the other was was not working) and I just love it because it's too useful and I've lost all my pens in the past exam week. I also lost my favorite mechanical pencil. :( I feel bad when I lose my things because all of them are dear to me. Seriously. I feel bad especially when I lose school things. In this school year, I've lost my glue stick because someone borrowed it and never returned it again. I also lost my new green scissors because of the same reason. Call me selfish or a liar or what but you know, this time, whenever my classmates ask me if I have this or like that and she sits on a chair 3 rows away from me, I refuse to lend her my things. Hehe. :P

For today, the family had a Filipino lunch at Dampa, at Farmer's, Cubao. Gawd. The food was very nice.

Me: whoa. ang dami, lahat ng tao nakatingin sa'tin!
Cousin 1: bibitayin na tayo
Cousin 2: ayos lang tapos na birthday ko eh
Me: gago di pa ako nagsi-sixteen
Cousin 1: mamamatay ka naman sa sarap eh
Me: ulul. happy birthday nalang sa'ting lahat.

Haha. :) The family lunch was great but when we went home, all the joy just vanished in a flash. Yeah, drama. Things here won't just work out. Urrgh. There's only one solution that I can think of for this problem but I know that everything would just turn out to be more difficult. But I'd love if that solution would be used. So glad. God only knows.