This week was really eeky and extremely brain-draining. Actually, it was only brain-draining because of the fucking trigo test that I didn't finish. Rarrr.

Tackled profanity a while ago in CL.. As much as possible, I want to avoid profanity but I really really feel good when I'm being profane. I mean fucking good. Profanity gets me out of anything damn and makes me feel fucking good.

Oh my freaking God.. What the hell am I saying??!

So.. I just violated the 2nd commandment. Fuck.

Anyway.. I just had our foodsale banner checked by Ms. Pacle and my groupmates finally saw it. And I really know and can sense it that they were very disappointed because the banner looks like chicken shit. The banner's totally big that's why it doesn't look like chicken shit because chicken shit is so damn small. Let me correct that. The banner I just made looks like bullshit. Yeah. My mind can clearly hear Charley say: I should have done the banner.. Well, if that's the case, then that should teach them a lesson that I shouldn't be given tasks that are art-related... I really suck when it comes to art. And I hate art.

Speaking of foodsale, Oma asked me to contribute 500 bucks for the capital. For a very thrifty person like me, 500 bucks spent in only one day is like... DAMN. When it comes to money cases like this, I am so much affected because I SPEND MY OWN MONEY. I rarely ask from my mom.. I practically buy all my stuff with my own money.. All my stuff.. My mobile phone... I bought them with MY own money. I'm just so irritated that that 500 bucks that I'm gonna contribute puts end to my ATM account. Actually, that 500 bucks is already months in my account because I'm really avoiding having it spent to maintain my account.. But, my ATM account is now put to end.

Entrepreneurship is one whole bullshit. I just hope that at the end of the schoolyear, I would be able to have more than or at least thrice my contributed money. And as soon as I get my real allowance, I'm going to open a new ATM account. Gosh. I'm really fucking poor.

Anyway, Trixie, Ariane, Danielle, Shiela, etc. are going to have fun in SM F tomorrow. They're gonna view Harry Potter blah blah. I should be going but I have to run errands tomorrow. And.. since I'm so poor, I would not want to use the cinema ticket that I bought earlier for an un-thrilling Harry Potter film. I'm planning to use that ticket to watch the Exorcism blah blah film. Besides, I haven't watched any Harry Potter film yet nor even read a single book of Rowling's.. So, why watch??

I'm so poor and I bet if I tell this to my mom, she'll be super mad.. and she'll say that I'm not only poor but, struggling.

Anna.

WWE Smackdown superstar Eddie Guerrero passed away...

How sad and sudden.

Have you ever thought of death? Of all the things that have ran across my mind, the subject "death" didn't even had its first step. It's just so weird that a forward-looking person which is just like me, never thought of my death in the future. (Ack. "death in the future"? is that phrase nutritious?) Anyway. I'm just so irritated with people whom I hear say these lines: Malapit na akong mamatay... Ganyan talaga kapag mamamatay ka na.. Paano kaya kung mamatay na ako?? Hearing those lines are just so irritating and make my ears bleed green. Just simply means that my father and grandfather make my ears bleed green.. I just don't see the reason why they always say those things to us. I had come to the conclusion that these people are undeniably afraid of death. They just want to overcome their fear of this natural-occurring life situation by anticipating the possible events when that situation finally comes.

Me? When "my day" finally comes, I want to see all the people close to me crying, mourning as if there's no tomorrow and feeling extremely guilty due to the things they've done to me in my entire life span. I want to see people's eyes flowing tanks of tears... ahahaha. sadista. Anyway, I would not love to talk about death.

During our doubled period CL a while ago, we talked about "God's Will"... It just slightly struck me... I just thought that I shouldn't be blaming myself whenever I make mistakes and not get something that I really really want. But, is it God's will that fate refuses to give me the things that I desire even though I really really work hard just to have it?? Maybe it's God's will that I get the things that I desire in later time.. I mean, in His time.. "In God's time" -- according to a green egghead.

Green eggheads are definitely hotter-than-the-hottest. Even though they're eggheads and extremely irritating and self-esteem "pull-downers", they're undeniably hotter-than-the-hottest..

Au revoir.

Anna.

I'm really having bouts of last song syndrome... These songs kept on playing and playing in my mind. During intrams practices, during the last Geom quiz where I let my stupidity run and wrote a Tangent equation on my paper.. Anyway, I just came into song analyses(plural?) of these songs..

Song #1 - 2 BECOME 1 by Spice Girls.. I really really like this song since I was a little kid and I still clearly remember that I always have the Spice Girls cassette tape on the Karaoke and sing it all day.. haha. It's only really now that I came to the analysis of the song.

Candle light and soul forever,
I dream of you and me together,
Say you believe it, say you believe it
Free your mind of doubt and danger,
Be for real, don't be a stranger
We can achieve it, we can achieve it -- so what are you gonna "achieve"?
Come a little bit closer, baby, get it on, get it on -- little bit closer?? what are you gonna "get on"??
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one -- WHEN 2 BECOME 1!! now, it's your turn to think what that means.
I need some love like I never needed love before(wanna make love to ya, baby) -- haha.. wanna make love to ya, baby..
I had a little love, now I'm back for more(wanna make love to ya, baby) -- now, she's back for more "love".. so make some more "love".. ahaha.
Set your spirit free, it's the only way to be -- yeah. it's the only way to be..
Silly games that you were playing, -- games like what?? ahahaha
Empty words we both were saying,
Let's work it out, boy, let's work it out, boy -- yeah, let's just work it out, BOY! hahaha.
Any deal that we endeavour,
boys and girls feel good together, -- surely, surely..
Take it or leave it, take it or leave it
and you're as good as I remember, baby, get it on, get it on -- still good at what?? ahaha.
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one -- yeah, tonight is the night.
(Oh whoa, oh whoa) Be a little bit wiser, baby, put it on, put it on -- put what? ahaha.
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one -- how will 2 become 1 tonight? ahahaha.
I need some love like I never needed love before(wanna make love to ya, baby) -- more and more "love"
I had a little love, now I'm back for more(wanna make love to ya, baby)
I need some love like I never needed love before(wanna make love to ya, baby)
I had a little love, now I'm back for more(wanna make love to ya, baby)
Set your spirit free, it's the only way to beIt's the only way to be. (2x)

ahahahaha... this truly is a "love" song.. good job, Spice Girls!


Song #2 - I JUST DON'T LOVE YOU NO MORE by Craig David. I like this song. It says what someone must tell me right now. ahahaha. I like the song..


For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold -- ask yourself why, dude.
If there's a problem we should work it out -- yeah. we should really.
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now -- why??
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl (tell me) -- baliktad ata.. ahaha.
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this drag on so long (i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games (silly games) -- silly games, huh??
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame -- ako na naman??
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more. -- kunyari lang yun. ahaha.
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry -- you should really be sorry. ahahaha.
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down -- not only like a fool. you really are a fool.
Now it's, too late, to turn it around -- not too late pa naman. ahaha.
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry -- you should be really sorry. ahahaha.
I guess this time it really is goodbye -- maybe goodbye doesn't mean forever? hahaha. kanta rin yun.
You made it clear when you said I just don't love you no more -- kunyari nga lang yun.. ahahaha.
I know that I made a few mistakes -- few mistakes?? FEW? ahahaha.
But never thought that things would turn out this way -- ulul. kasalanan mo.
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone (I see it all so clearly) -- ahahaha.
Me at the door with you inner state (inner state) -- inner state ah.. haha
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more. -- kunyari nga lang..
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry -- I'm sorry, too. ahahaha
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down -- fool ka talaga.
Now it's, too late, to turn it around -- not really.
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye -- maybe goodbye doesn't mean forever nga eh.. ahaha
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more -- kunyari nga lang. ahaha.

haha. ang non sense ata.. haha. sige. tulog pa ako.

DREAMER'S MANIFESTO by Jourdan the Dreamer

I, Anna Clarissa Buena Garcia Reyes, choose to live a life of adventure, excitement, service, joy, spontaneity and love.
I choose to love.
And as I love I live.
As I live I give.
As I give I serve.
As I serve I step closer to the reality of my dreams.
I will dream.
I will dream big and amazing and spectacular and awesome dreams.
I will live my dreams and not compromise for the sake of security or safety or comfort.
I will jump-out of my comfort zone and embrace change.
Change, whom I fear.
Change, whom I dread.
I will seek to live beyond what I can, believing that the God whom I trust is much, much bigger and greater than any obstacle I may face.
I will face my fear.
I will stop running away from it and turn around.
And when I am face-to-face and eye-to-eye with it I will grab the bull by its ballsand make it scream surrender.
I surrender.
I surrender to my great Destiny.
knowing deep in my heart I am destined for excellence,
I am destined for greatness.
Not mediocrity, not conformity.
Not in arrogance but with the mantle of humility placed upon me.
Because this is not about me.
This is about humanity.
I will persevere for the sake of humanity, who need men inflamed by passion that will ignite the hearts of the timid and fearful souls to push on and soar higher.
And I will do all this not ten years from now when I am free.
Not five years from now when I have the money.
Not one year from now when I am ready.
Not one month from now when all is steady.
Not one week from now when I know how.
Not even tomorrow because tomorrow is far from now.
I will live my dreams now and I will act now.

**(DO THE WORLD A FAVOR: PRINT THIS OUT AND POST IT ON YOUR CR MIRROR OR SOMETHING!!! OR PASS IT ON TO A HESITANT BEING... - jourdan the dreamer)

Top 18 Mushy Break-Up Songs (for mushy people feeling really mushy after a mushy break-up)

Want something more to comfort you in your precious moment of genuine mushiness, as well as loneliness? Well, this list is a mana direct from heaven for 1) people who can't, and has no plan, to get over a bad break-up 2) and those who are not yet ready to move on with their ruined love life. (So, don't count me here yet)
Heavier, obviously mushier (read: sentimental… Aaahrrgghhhhh!) and alarmingly, frighteningly cheesy (read: still sentimental…. AAAHRRGGHHHH!). So, here they are, in no particular order, and waiting for you to abuse them.

1.If You're Not Here (By My Side) - Menudo. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Was there a time in your life that you listened to this group's actual cassette album in a Walkman at around 3pm of a lifeless afternoon, while reading the accompanied lyrics to the songs? I did, when I was in Grade 3 or 4, when I was innocently exploring all the Saudi-imported cassette tapes of my father. This track struck me hard. It made me sad. It made me think of my crush then (whom I won't even talk to). And finally, it made me a cheesy moron for the first time in my life. This one will help you not forget about a traumatic parting. Cheesy? You deserve it. (For those post-Edsa 1 babies, Ricky Martin was once a member of this pop program; but when he became over-age, he was replaced by Jon Secada, whom I'm sure you don't know too)
2.Lately - Stevie Wonder. A 4-minute prelude to an impending goodbye. Because Srevie Wonder wrote this, this is not cheesy. (Recall Cheesy Pop Song Rule #97: Any song written by Stevie Wonder is not cheesy merely due to the simple fact that he is Stevie Wonder.)
3.Somewhere Down The Road - Barry Manilow. Should I erase this one off the list because this is not a break-up song? Indeed, isn't this a break up song? It is not? Well, it just so happen that I think this is the classic mushiest, cheesiest break-up/ soulmate song of all-time. We had the right love at the wrong time/… 'coz somewhere down the road/ our road are our gonna cross again/ it doesn't really matter when/… If you're emotionally downed by a teenybopper break-up, and you're feeling "senti" (and mushy and cheesy), this is the perfect one. Bar none.
4.The Best Of Me - Olivia Newton and David Foster. Again, isn't this a break-up song? Together with song number 5, has the strength to crush a fragile emotion the second the intro starts. Someone I once knew is so much in loved with this song that her world will stop the moment she hears this song. An UC and MC-type cheesy/mushy song.
5.Goodbye Girl - David Gates. Baby, goodbye doesn't mean forever. Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again. I'm still feeling its effect (with dramatic effect).
6.I Won't Hold You Back - Toto. A standard sentimental break-up ballad that caters to all ages. What can I say? It's break up time. No need to hold back that sad feeling.
7.The Old Songs - David Pomeranz. Forgive me for this, but because we are already in the cheesy-land, might as well include this cheesy old song about cheesy old songs which a cheesy old singer believed will bring back the memories of the cheesy old times he had with her cheesy-irritated ex-lover, who in turn, upon hearing these cheesy old songs, he wished, will "lay her head on my (cheesy) shoulder" and they will be back once more as cheesy lovers. Whew! (I have heard the Barry Manilow version, and could say there's no significant differences between the two versions in terms of the mushiness and cheesiness it can bring to its helpless listener, the only difference, if we are going to be a keen, very objective observer, is that the first singer is a rich old famous faggot, while the other one is simply an old faggot whose "fame" is only known here in our country. [He's an unknown balladeer in US; only the 40ish Fil-Am who listen to him and a few closet gay know him])
8.Separate Lives - Steven Bishop. He wrote the 2nd mushiest soulmate song in It Might Be You (next to Somewhere down… of Mr. Manilow). He also wrote one of the mushiest break-up songs in this one. This acoustic version sounds more natural, more personal. And cheesier of course.
9.Miss You Like Crazy - Natalie Cole. How can I forget this song? This is the one sung by Doogie Howser's best friend (from the late 80's Doogie Howser, MD series) in his attempt to win back his girlfriend. And yes, he did win her back. That's the mushiness of this song.
10.Doors - Michael Johnson. I will always prefer this to his most famous, the universally mushy I'll Will Always Love You for a few reasons I will not share. Hehehe. But I love this song.
11.Don't Give Up On Us - David Soul. Bet you have not given up on this song, even though you know that once people learned that you still listen to this song, you will be strongly persecuted, with the full long arms of ridicule running after you. Is this one so bad that you will experience such cold embarrassment? Unfortunately, it is. Plus, the music is stained with pure cheesiness that mice are all over its lyrics. But then, these only make it a perfect complement for your lonely cause of being a nostalgic fool for a while.
12.Through The Fire - Chaka Khan. Before you say, "hey, this song is not about break up", listen first, decipher the "very deep" lyrics, and then try to argue with me afterwards. Anyway, if you're broken hearted, any love song, particularly as strong as this, will only make you weepy and mushy.
13.I Don't Want You To Go - Lani Hall. She seems to be whispering in this song, but if you listen carefully to it, you will sadly remember the person who left you, haha!
14.If Ever You're In My Arms Again - Peabo Bryson. This song evokes an image of a young, scrawny Richard Gomez calling from a telephone booth. This was the soundtrack of that scene from the movie Islaw Palitaw, I guess. God, do I remember those films? If I'm wrong with that, I'm ready to be corrected. Thank you. By the way, this song is a videoke favorite of almost all people I know. Proof of its solid sentimentality. (I've always mistaken this to James Ingram' Just Once, which by the way, should have been here, but… well, kindly check my shorlisted mushy break-up songs for my lame excuses, hehe)
15.Broken-hearted Me - England Dan and John Foley. You have heard of this, you just don't know the title. Sentimental. No, I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart.. You'll thank me I'll put this in the list.
16.This Time I'll Be Sweeter - Angela Bofill. More of a second chance than a break up song. But when you're down, and ruing for what had happened, this one can motivate you to be better in your next relationship, if you are ready. Otherwise, sulk with Angela Bofill. Nyanya!
17.Heaven Knows - Rick Price. One of the scanty mushy songs in the 90's which my mind can readily recall (the other one is Fixing A Broken Heart, by the Australian one-hit wonder Indecent Obssession), this is (for me) a bum's tale of love lost and hopeless hope. "Maybe my love will come back someday, only heaven knows/ and maybe my heart will find a way, only heaven knows/ and all I can do is hope and pray, 'cause heaven knows". Yup, only heaven knows what ought to be done to these hopeless bums who will not take actions for their sad plight.
18.Ocean Deep - Hands down, the all-time most favorite foreign sentimental love song of all Filipinos. Has touched every sentimental fucking fool in this country. But because it is highly cheesy (it sounds cheesy), most of us will deny it. Even if you have already sung this song once in your occasional videoke expeditions. (another 80's pop trivia: this is sung, again, by a young, scrawny Richard Gomez, as he serenaded Maricel Soriano, in the movie, Inday Bote.). Now, I have to admit, this is not really a break-up song. But do you really think I can delete this one off the list? Clearly not. Due to its sheer mushiness and cheesiness, its impact to a widely vulnerable emotion, and its very-Pinoy (sentimental) lyrics, this should be added. This is for your own mushy pleasure, right? So, you will have it.

Shortlisted mushy break up songs that were not included (sadly)
1.All By Myself - Eric Carmen. Aaalllllll by myselfffff!!!! Aside from the irritating fact that this is cheesy, this ballad is also, (sorry to abuse the word, but it's the only fitting adjective that enters my mind to describe it) IRRITATING! Also, this is way mushy. Overmushy that borders on self-pity, that is neither romantic nor sentimental. Aaalllll by myyysellffff! With this kind of song, no wonder you're by yourself!
2.Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan. There's no doubt in my mind that once your lover knew that you like this song, you will be "alone again (naturally). Who loves this song? God, you would be better off alone than hearing this in your hour of mercy.
3.Just Once - James Ingram. It has the elements of a nice break-up song. Mushy, cheesy, senti. But why it is not included? Because… it was once used… as a theme song… by some girl… for… for… nevermind…
4.Almost Over You - Sheena Easton.
5.You Left Me (Just When I Needed You The Most) - Randy Vanwarmer. Dear Mr. Vanwarmer, she left you just when you were going to sing this song, and why not? Check out my comments on All By Myself. They were crafted from the same unbearable, annoying materials.
6.Don't get angry with me if I didn't include any Patti Austin songs here. My Patty Austin CD is lost (pirated CD that is).

Note: I would be glad to know your own top mushy break up songs… just a random thought...

**the italicized paragraphs above were copy and pasted from Kuya Ikyan's blog.. Wala lang. I just thought that it was good and it's nice to share it. Hahaha. I know how really bored he is. Hahahaha. Talino.. Sociology sa UP.. ahahaha. :)

**I'm gonna put up my own list of fucking mushy songs when I have time. :)