one BIG procrastinator.

I woke up and saw the window with one dark light reflecting from the outside and thought it was just like 7 am or something. When I got up and went to the kitchen to see my mom, I looked at our pendulum clock and saw that it was already 1 pm!!! Shit. I was planning to study all the minor subjects pa naman today and I woke up at 1pm. Errk..

It's already 2:45pm and I haven't studied anything yet. how disappointing. Why can't I really change my study habits?! Why is this computer calling me always?!

Anyway, I'm alone here at home because Mama had gone off to make some "deals"... I understand. She really has to do her thing because I know and undoubtedly, we loss a lot of money when I got admitted in the hospital. I saw the hospital bills and it came out that I was spending 4000 pesos per day. Multiply that by 5 for 5 days plus the personal fee for the physician. That's it. I thought of it was just nothing before, but realized it's worth today.

Anyway, I had my reply slip regarding the prom signed by Mama. She checked the "with partner" option. Then, she asked me: "Sino ba partner mo?" I just said: "matagal pa yan.. bahala na.." Hay.. :D

I saw LoveStruck's advertisement on TV and sa Rainier Castillo. He was so hilarious! Very comical. Bagay sa kanya yung baklang role.. For the first time, di ako nainis sa kanya... I think I'm gonna watch that movie.. I'm gonna watch that even it's jologs...

Okay, got to study.


'til it's over.

Clarissa

Hindi na pala kita gusto...

I just finished reading It Happened to Nancy. The story is similar to that of A Walk to Remember's except for the fact that Nancy and Lew didn't marry and this is a true story, taken from the character's diary. I can't believe that those kind of life stories such as Nancy's can actually happen. However, she's right. Her decision of her diary, being published on public could really help a lot of people. Especially teens. Honestly, it helped me. I knew that AIDS can actually happen even though it super unexpectedly... And, basta.. I learned a lot.

I RECOMMEND THE BOOK TO EVERYONE. IT WILL SURELY TEACH US A LESSON.

I finally had my things with me from the locker! I started skimming the chemistry book ang highlighted things which I think are important. Damn. There are a bunch of stuff to be scanned for chemistry. I'm really going to start reviewing the easy subjects tomorrow. I hope that I would be able to concentrate with the internet, tempting me... Errrk.. Please help me, GOD. I need to review. It would be a shame if I fail even just one of my subjects in the exams--knowing that I had a lot of time to review. -- Anyway, who can review with the status I just had in the hospital?! And, the physician said.. I NEED A COMPLETE BED REST! ha ha ha.

I mulled over things and contemplated... Sorry.. HINDI NA PALA KITA GUSTO. I am not being sarcastic or something. Tama na. This is over. There's no future on that thing! There may be a past but, there's definitely a future on it. I'm just fooling myself, illusioning that those things could possibly happen.. Well in fact, that thing is concretely unfeasible. Those are completely unfeasible things even though sometimes, we come to instances that make it seem true... I have to wake up from this hott-ish nightmare and put in my mind that there's no future hoping that all those "stuff" can come true. You were never in love Anna Clarissa... Never. You don't know what that thing means. You don't know.

Black-ish brown spots are developing on my body. I don't know why these things are developing but, I should really continue taking care of myself and taking those vitamins. This is a sign of one possible disease related to blood. Leukemia for instance. That can't be. That can't be. I've got so many dreams in life and I am determined to attain those.

I've got to sleep. I hate going back to school. I hate it. I JUST LOATHE IT!


'til it's over.

Clarissa.

Kakatawa. Kakasuka. Kakabuwiset!

Mama hasn't gone off to school yet. Okay, this means that there's still time for me to bum off. Nyeah! I went on blog hopping today morning and I accidentally clicked on Teej's blog.. errr.. he seems to be having a really great time with his "Beh" have a look at his blog: http://www.xanga.com/teej_21. I find his posts funny.. Even though senting-senti na cia (siguro) sa mga pinagsusu-sulat nia dun.. I really find it funny.. especially the last post.. nakakatawa talaga.. Well, Teej, if you're reading this (i know you're not) sorry nalang.. I really find your blog comical and hilarious..

So, what's to blog about? Nothing really. I just found out that my blood really boils and I get extremely irritated whenever Manny's name is mentioned. I just find it so kakasawa.. and, what's the thing about him? What's the real score about us?! Wala naman eh. I don't know why people keep on teasing us on each other eh what we have is just plainly a platonic relationship. Perhaps and probably, I'm over-fed-up of that Manny thing. I wanna puke. I'm so irritated. That would be the last time people are gonna tease me. I'm over-fed-up.. If you people think that I experience one tantalizing and enticing feeling or kilig, I'm sorry to tell you, NO. I feel the opposite of that. I don't wanna put on it here nalang 'coz I might offend someone who is very good to me.. Just please.. stop mentioning his name.

Anyway, I'm really frightened by Chemistry. 15 out of 48 people passed in the test. What kind of test is that?! Ellanie sort of told me what stuff I would find in the test and I kinda find it easy naman. I just can't understand. Maybe people thought that the Chemistry test would be easy like the ones in the quizzes.. kasi they get high scores in the quizzes kaya you'll get a high score in the test din.. hay.. misconception.. Well for me, I didn't have high scores in the quizzes so I am really expecting that it would be hard. Especially naming of compounds. I appreciate the subject kasi I am planning to take up Nursing in college... kailangan talaga yun.. Unlike AP. Kadiri. Buwiset!

StarStruck 3 is on na pala. Mag-audition kaya ako?! Hehe. Just kiddin'. Nica texted me and then she told me that baka she's gonna audition for StarStruck 3. Who the hell cares?! Malapit lang daw kasi yun sa kanila kasi nga she's taking up workshops on GMA Artist Center.. Kahit na mag-audition ka, di ka makukuha dun. Akala mo naman... Ang yabang mo, grabe. I would rather spend my extra time on UPCAT review or enhancement classes than GMA Artist Center workshops.. Di naman ako mapapakain ng workshops na yan in the future unless extreme ang kagandahan ko para ma-captivate ang mga mata ng producers.. Eh as I said, diyosa lang ako ng kagandahan... haha. tawa nalang. :D Good luck to you, Nica. Sana mapalitan mo si Jennylyn Mercado. nyaha! kanta ka nga.. [sarcasm] sayaw nalang kaya?! haha. PEACE!

'til it's over.

Clarissa.

dungis ng itsura. haha

hot nurse. hehe. grabe..

putol.. hehe.. ito ang diyosa. haha. wala nang aangal!

It's first day of my "bed rest" yeah... Hehe. It's the first day, too that I created an entry for this blog. I started reading It Happened to Nancy. I borrowed the book from our library and it was due on August 8, 2005 pa. I thought of reading it because I don't wanna pay for an over-duen book that I haven't even read. The story is about "Nancy", a girl of my same age who was date-raped by one unbearable creature and she got AIDS. The story is a real story and Nancy died.. too bad.. but, what do you expect? You can die with dengue.. what more with AIDS?

Good thing I didn't die. I really can't believe it that I was just saved from a deadly virus like AIDS. I also can't believe that me, having the dengue virus is factual. I just really thought that my fever was cause by the awful weather... But, the thing is.. I am alive now.

The chemistry test was really tough. I've heard it many times. Only 7 people out of 48 in our class passed the exam. Even Nicole de Vera who was uber intelligent failed. I really have to study. What the hell did Mrs. Valence Torralba put in there?!

I miss biology, again. I realized that I don't wanna go back to school again. Being at home is cool. But I have to go to school because I want to be an achiever again when I enter college. Nothing's gonna stop me from being the real me when I get to college because we're all freshies there. No one knows me. No one's gonna tittle-tattle unfactual things about me anymore.. It's a new world and it's a start of my better world... 3 quarters more and I'll be entering 4th yr high school... I'll be experiencing 205 more days of tiring days.. hay.

My birthday's nearing already. I can't believe it that August is gonna end already. September's coming! I have a lot of special people in my life who celebrate their birthdays on September! After September, then October!!! My birthday's really nearing.. I'm already 15. I'm gonna miss being 14... I hate being 13.. hehe.. I'm fifteen already!!! :D Muntik na akong di mag-15! hehe... After October, it's November already!!! November.. December... January.. February.. March!! dang! 3rd yr's over. yehey!!! It seems like it's so long pa but I tell you.. for people like me who are really forward-looking, a month's just like a week.. malapit na yun!!! February is prom month pala..! no comment.. hehe..

I have made a lot of entries today.. I'm bored. Mom's gonna go to school tomorrow and speak with Mrs. Dino. She's gonna get my things from the locker for me to be able to review for the tough tests!!! I'm gonna start reviewing for English, Media Awareness tomorrow..

I was thinking that the concept and name of my blog is cool.. "clarissa-ism" it's like a study about me.. bagay naman eh.. "clariss-a-nalysis" it's like "clarissa-analysis" an analysis and study of myself!!! it's cool.. that's cooler than putting up a blog name that goes like: "clarissa_14" or whatsoever..

'til it's over.

Clarissa.

pare.. kung lahat ng nurse ay tulad mo.. magpapa-ospital lahat.. hot mo!

**Akala ko mga bata lang ang nagkaka-dengue.. Hindi pala.. Pati rin pala mga fourteen-year-old na di halos lumalabas ng bahay, puwede magkaroon..

TULAD KO.

I went home last Friday, feeling super tired and dead beat with this fever. The weather last Friday was undeniably really awful because it was super cold so I just thought I had the fever due to the weather... but, 3rd day of the high fever came and my doctor/tita required us to go to the hospital for the blood testing.
let's cut the story short.. I HAD DENGUE. I MISSED ALL MY EXAMS. I HAD MY BLOOD TESTED FOR COUNTLESS TIMES. I STAYED INSIDE A HOSPITAL FOR 6 DAYS. I WAS A LONER FOR 6 DAYS. My stay in the hospital changed my life. I realized how good health important is. I was also familiarized with the consequences of being someone who works in the medical field. Especially nurses. The common misconception that we have when it comes to nurses is that utusan lang sila ng mga doktor, taga-hugas ng puwet ng pasyente, utusan, utusan, UTUSAN.. well, in a way, utusan nga sila pero hindi yung iniisip ng mga tao..

Without nurses, patients would be dead. Literally. Attending physicians that we pay to do not stay up late to monitor the patients' needs. They only show up to us twice or thrice.. Nurses never left the patients.. Sa kanila na halos nakasalalay yung buhay at ikaga-galing ng pasyente. Hindi rin natin masisisi ang mga nurse kung after 2 years of experience dito ay lumilipad sila papuntang London, Canada, United Kingdom.. eh kasi naman! ang hirap ng trabaho nila tapos minimum wage lang ang bayad sa kanila dito sa Pinas! eh kung gawin kaya nilang at least 20,000+ ang suweldo ng nurse dito. baka sakaling di mag-alisan lahat... 5,000 pesos per 15 days ang suweldo ng nurse dito, sa ibang countries, $5000 per day! o ano, san ka pa?!
Why do I have to study medicine and get a salary that's not as high as the nurses'? Why suffer and be envious of the nurses na under sa'yo? I'm gonna take up nursing not as a preparatory medicine course.. but as my profession.. What's bad or jolog about being a nurse? Hello. Sino bang binabayaran ng malaki sa abroad? Nurses po. Wala ngang naka-kabit sa pangalan ko in the future pero.. aanhin ko ung naka-kabit sa name ko kung nagugutom naman ako?! No use din naman eh...

Pero.. bakit si Mama isang nurse pero di kami ganun ka-filthy rich??? Duuh.. lam ko naman sagot dun.. Mama chose to stay here with us than in abroad..
No one beats the hospitality that the nurses in that hospital showed me! Nothing beats them. I will miss those nurses.. super. Especially nurse Carl.. cute.. guwapo.. we even had a picture taken... ;P sana maging successful cia pag lumipad cia.. hehe.. :D

I'm going back to the hospital on Saturday for the final check-up. Sana duty pa rin yung mga nurses na nag asikaso sa akin! I'm gonna check up on them..

Utang na loob ko pa sa inyo lahat..

Bigay pugay sa mga nurse.. hehe.. :d

'til it's over.

Clarissa.

i swear. this will be the last blog that i'm gonna create. Of course, it's hosted by blogger. i realized that my xanga blog is uber boring coz i can't post pictures in there.. i'm gonna fix this blog then delete the xanga blog.. basta.. i'll also try to create my own layout.. but, i don't have Adobe Photoshop.. basta.. I'll look for that software over the net then try to use it.. :D I'm going to school next week. Dr. Felipe told us to make me go to school on the 29th of August to aboid lung and heart complications. The school wouldn't be liable if ever i relapse during school activities. The school doesn't care, anyway.. and one thing more, I haven't scanned my notes nor registered anything inside my info-stuffed mind yet.. i don't have plans of cheating in the exams..

cheaters in periodical exams are major losers.. such a shame!

as if naman di ako nag try mag cheat kahit minsan.. hehe.. eh seatwork lang naman iyun eh..

iba pa rin kapag periodical exams.. and, who hasn't tried cheating on seatworks and homeworks? don't tell me, meron.. how hypocrite u are if ur gonna say that u are..

'til it's over.

Clarissa.

diyosa ka talaga..

diyosa ng kagandahan.. ganda mo talaga kahit kaka galing lang sa ospital.. haha :d