bouts of last song sydrome

a result of last song syndrome: leaving on a jet plane

from the soundtrack of the movie Armageddon (sp.?)

I remember someone who cried while hearing this song... Haha. I remember. I wonder how's that person doing... Hmm..

I really miss my real friends. The ones who were afraid to leave me and the ones who never ever left me. Nagpaparinig ako. never ever left me. haha. anyway... miss ko na sila sobra.. I miss their company.. Unfortunately, when we all entered high school, we all parted ways... good thing there are communication stuff like telephone, text, e-mail and YM. I really miss them.

Tomorrow's Sunday already tapos Monday na... Science week is nearing... Errr.. I just wish high school to be over. School's very boring and very tiring.

I'll be going to Anne's place tomorrow for our practice for Victus. Hay. I just noticed that Miss Platon always gives us tasks that are needed to be rushed. She always does that. Anyway, I missed an English quiz nga pala and have to make that up. I haven't memorized anything of the poems yet. Fuck.

That's all for now. I'm just waiting for Anne to be online.

I can be a "user-friendly" like you, girl!

it really keeps on bothering me... and it keeps on running across my mind... another "user-friendly" added on my list.

ikaw na nga 'tong namromroblema, tinatanong kita ng maayos kung anong problema mo, tama bang itulak ako at sabihing "umalis ka nga dito!" sa harap ng dalawang batchmates at ako pa ang napahiya dahil sinubukan kong i-comfort ka... aba. at nang ika'y sinubukang i-comfort ng iyong mga "tunay" na kaibigan, aba.. hindi mo sila itinaboy ng tulad ng ginawa mo sa'kin....

nang inisip ko ang mga bagay na nangyari, parang may nagsabi sa'kin: "hoy, gumising ka na. imulat mo nang mata mo." ako ba'y kaibigan mo o ginagamit mo? hindi na rin ako magtataka dahil nang makilala kita noong nakaraang taon, parang ganun na rin ang tingin ko sa'yo...

kung gamitan din lang ang nangyayari, wag mo isipin na tanga ako at di ko alam ang mga ginagawa mo. magkakasama nalang turingan natin. nakakayamot. sayang. nakakapanghinayang...

isa pa.. ang hilig mong mang-iwan. kung iwanan lang din ang patutunguhan nito, asahan mo... uunahan kita.

I am no exception when it comes to leaving people and using people. I sometimes over-use people and don't let yourself be one of the people that I have over-used. I dump. I leave. I humiliate. I curse. I loathe.

Miss ko na talaga yung best friends ko... Wala pa akong nakikitang tulad nila... Paola, Krizza, Hannah, Chynna, Lex... hmm.. mga tulad nila na di nakakalimot kahit na hanggang ngayon... di tulad ng iba na may makausap lang na isa eh mang-iiwan na...

Mang-iiwan! Lakas ng loob mong mantaboy. Di na kita dadamayan sa susunod. Kapal. Nakakainis. Gamitan kung gamitan. Magkalimutan ng pinagsamahan. Unahan sa pag-iwan. Bahala ka.

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pampalipas buwiset

Hay. I've finally gone back to school and, it brings so much pain. Physical and mental pain. Oh my god. I wish someone could help me. I have missed a lot of lessons.. quizzes.. homeworks.. setworks..and unfortunately, I have to make-up all those. ALL. I can hardly understand what Mrs. Torralba is teaching now. I have a lot of things to do when I get home. Darn. I haven't taken yet my Trigonometry, Filipino, Computer, AP and Entrep tests.. Buwiset. Pinapatay ako nito.

ayoko na!!! nakakainis..

next week, science week na.. and guess what, kami ni Paola ang emcee! putang ina. sorry sa mura pero.. arrrgh! ano ba. buwiset!!! nanggigigil na ako. nakakainis. nakakabanas. arggh!. dami kong kailangan gawin. bahala na kung anong manyari. leche.

aba. bahala na si batman.

got to go. I think I'm gonna have Trigonometry and Filipino for tomorrow. Help me, please!


'til it's over.

Clarissa

plastik kids and the walis lola

afternoon was super chemistry-filled. But, I really haven't scanned and understood everything yet.. especially the Noble Gas Configuration. Including the electron configuration na ilalagay yung arrows sa boxes. THERE ARE NO CLASSES TOMORROW! YAHOO! I have confirmed that by texting tito Fiony (our school bus operator). Having a text conversation with him is super funny. :)

While writing for Chem a while ago, a couple of kids from the squatter's area near the village knocked and asked, "Ate, may plastik kayo?" I thought of my gatorade bottles that I had when I was in the hospital. I think I had 20 more or less gatorade bottles.. I needed that to sustain my life (grammar?).. Anyway.. then my mom said: "wala na eh.. naitapon ko na.." I got slightly mad at my mom because she was so cruel to the kids.. then the kids said: "ate, amin nalang yun.. sige na, pandagdag lang sa pambili ng bigas.." When I heard that, I got slightly teary.. Things like that make me teary.. then my mom said: "sige. kunin nio na yan." I JUST HATE BEING IN INSTANCES SUCH THAT.. but, it makes me realize how lucky I am..

After the plastik kids have gone, A "walis tambo lola" knocked on the door again and she was selling really good walis tambos.. she said: "bili na kayo mam, pampabawas lang po sa mga dinadala ko.." she's already old.. my mom bought two walis tambos.. it's nice.. really nice.. :)

After my dengue episodes, this is the first time I have gone to mass again. Of course, 7pm mass ulit! I noticed that there were really a lot of people in mass compared to those past days.. I wonder why.. I thanked God for the second life he has given me.. I know that I may have died because of dengue that's why I thanked him... newsflash: another person here in the area died because of dengue.. so shocking. My batchmate, Cellestelle who happened to have dengue before me live here, in the same are, too.. but, I really know that I got bitten by a mosquito in school. not here. school's to blame, still.. don't like what I'm saying about my school? Sue me. -- if that would give you bliss.

Okay, got to get back to Chemistry. I thank God for giving me another day to review which is tomorrow. Yes! I think He is being favorable to me, now.. I also prayed to let me pass all my exams.. especially Chemistry.. kahit pasang awa lang..

Good night.

'til it's over.

Clarissa

Goodbye English and Media A. Welcome, CHEM!

I wasted a lot of time this whole day! A LOT OF TIME .

I woke up at 8am and as usual... PROCRASTINATED, again. Again and again and again. Well, this is my profession. I started to finish reviewing for English. There were a lot of interruptions. Andiyan yung tumigil ako sa pag-review at maglaro ng Red Alert 2 online sa GameSpy. Hay.. Blame Bedeck for teaching me that stuff! I got addicted! And, mahirap na alisin yun.. So that was a vicious cycle.. review-laro-kain-pahinga-kulitan-review...

Bedeck's report card was just released.. And guess what, my dear brother's class rank fell down. From being top 1 last year, he's now the top 3. LOSER. What a shame. He got 79 in his periodical test in computer eh he's in front of the computer all day long palagi. Loser. When I was in grade school, I never got such. Grade 3 ka palang, ganyan ka na. What more in high school? Be ready, my dear. But, beyond that, I'm envious because my brother has the guts and is not scared to ask my mom to get his report card.. unlike me.. err.. bagong buhay na nga eh.. let's try this 1st quarter.. err.. with my mom, super irritated with Ms. Sabordo? I don't think so.

I finished reviewing for English and Media Awareness just right now. Hay... I regret the time that I wasted the whole week I was in home... I should have reviewed all of these! Tomorrow's gonna be devoted for Chemistry. Darn. I'm gonna concentrate on LEDS and other things that must be computed. Lecheng chem yan. I mean it, leche.

THERE ARE NO CLASSES ON MONDAY AND THE SCHOOL MUST FOLLOW THAT. PRESIDENT GLORIA DECLARED IT. IT'S A NON-WORKING HOLIDAY. I'M GONNA SHOOT MS. CRUZ AND SISTER MARIETTA IF THEY DO LET US STUDENTS GO TO SCHOOL. DAMN U ALL! Please, this is what I have been praying and longing for. I have to review for Chem. Shame on me, worrying about a Science subject this time. This is what I never did during the entire life of me in school (grammar sucks).. How come I'm not worrying about Trigonometry and Geometry?! I have changed. Really changed.

I'm gonna sleep now.. I went to Nickel Street a while ago with Mama and Bedeck. It doesn't feel good to be back there. Knowing that someone's there. I felt different. It's unlike feeling back at home. Anyway, I found out that there are at least a few people here in this neighborhood who are sensible and fun to chat with. How nice. I saw Nicol a while ago (he's my neighbor) after I think 2 years of being quarantined at home, I finally saw him.. (he's a batchmate from grade school) anyway, he's already tall now.. unlike before. Maybe he was circumcissed already. ha ha ha.

That's all for now. Wish me luck in Chem. I hate the evils of procrastinating and laziness...

My grammar sucks. Need to consult the dictionary and thesaurus. (i do that during in grade school, SERIOUSLY)

'til it's over.

Clarissa.