Pagbigyan niyo na!

Isang linggo na rin akong maysakit at isang linggo na rin na hindi maganda ang panlasa ko kaya wala akong ganang kumain. Hindi ko alam, hindi naman ako nakararamdam ng gutom kahit hindi ako kumakain. Hindi kasi talaga maganda ang panlasa ko ngayon; minsan sweet na hindi mo maintindihan, minsan mapait. Ewan. Isa pa, parang pinapatay ko rin sarili ko sa sakit kapag kumakain ako. Ni pag-inom ng tubig masakit. Para bang sasabog ang mga pisngi ko habang nararamdaman kong umiinit at tumitigas ito. Sobrang sakit.

Kahit naman ganito, medyo okay naman ako sa sitwasyon kasi nakakapag-diet ako. Wala talaga ako totally kinakain. Inom lang nang inom. Sinasamantala ko kapag bagong inom lang ako ng pain reliever kasi dun hindi pa masyadong masakit. Tamang-tama. Sabayan pa yung pain reliever na 500mg ng 500mg din na Paractamol. Ayos. Plakda agad sa kama ang abot ko. See? Wala na talagang pagkakataon na kumain kahit gusto ko man. At saka, okay nga eh kasi papayat na ako. At least, hindi na ako mukhang baboy na naninikip ang damit sa college. Ayos. :) I laaaab et!

Ngayong araw, apat na pirasong kwek-kwek lang kinain ko. Yun lang. Nate-tempt akong kumain ng sandwich kanina kasi may nakita akong California Raisin Bread at saka Mayonnaise pagbukas ko ng ref. Sarap sana nun, may cheese eh kaso lang naisip ko kapag bread ang kinakain ko ngayon, ang panget ng lasa. Niluluwa ko rin. What's the point diba? Natulog nalang ako.

Gusto ko na talagang gumaling. This sucks. Ang hirap kahit na lahat ng attention binibigay sa'kin ngayon. Ang hirap kasi umaasa ako sa gamot--which is not a good thing kasi masama ang masaydong gamot sa liver. Daranasin ko rin ang lifetime aftermath nito pagtanda ko. Hwag naman sana masyadong malala. Nakadepende kasi ako sa pain relievers. Iba kasi talaga ang sakit. Alam niyo ba yung mga eksena na napapanood niyo sa Philippine movies/TV na maysakit yung isang tao na malala tapos bigla nalang siya aatakihin ng sakit at magstru-struggle siya para uminom nang gamot tapos biglang mawawala yung sakit na nararamdaman niya? Akala ko pang TV lang yun pero lately ganun ang eksena ko tuwing madaling-araw at tanghali. Ewan ko ba kung bakit sa mga ganung oras. Lately mas naging irregular pa nga ang sleeping schedule ko kasi kapag umiinom ako ng gamot, nakakatulog ako agad. Minsan nagigising nang madaling-araw. Minsan hapon na. Minsan gabi. Gisingin man ako para kumain, ayoko rin.

Pero kahit na gumaling na ako, ime-maintain ko pa rin yung pagkain nang ganito. Masyado na akong mataba. Oo na, masyado nang insecure sa katawan. Alam ko yun. I believe every girl comes to this stage that I am currently on. This stage wherein girls feel that their physical attributes aren't good enough. As for my case, I am really quite big and fat; and also, I think I'm a little bit dark. I wanna feel good kaya I want to improve it. Let's just see if I can change the fatso me. :)

They say the heat makes the hair grow faster. Sana. I want to have my hair colored LIKE THIS.


Hate PacMan. He's such an underdog to the Arroyo adminsitration. Sus. Ang kapal. Even his mother is against his candidacy. Heller Manny, mothers know best.

panira ng araw

Seriously, dude.
Anong problema mo?!

Tinatanong ka na nga nang maayos, deadma ka pa.
Dami mong chorva.
You suck, green airhead!

Sakitin ka kasi

My condition has gone worse. I now even have rashes all over my body because of my body's reaction to the virus. :(

I've been reading Harper's Illustrated Biochemistry again this summer. Like what I've said before, I'm going to spend most of my time reading books to load-up my poor puny brain with new things. Harper's book has been my reference way back in 2nd year High School Biology. I rarely read the book that we had for exams because everything else was there in Harper's. I'm back to Krebs Cycle now. Haha.

Anyway, I checked on Hanyang Medical School in Seoul's site and checked on the requirements for medical school studies there. Going there to study Medicine is one of my goals after my undergraduate studies in UP [naks, wala pa nga may plans na] because Hanyang is one of the top medical schools in Asia. And according to a lot of medical materials I've read, South Korea offers a great deal when it comes to Asian and Oriental Medicine. I found out that the process of application there is very difficult and quite a hassle. They still require foreign students to have this Langueagee Prougrams that they offer when the fact is they will be using English medical books naman. Hay nako. It's not that I don't want to learn the foreign language but I think it's just pointless. Isn't it that they should be the one to study English instead? Here in the Philippines, we don't have Tagalog-written medical books. But I saw their Med School curriculum and it's really nice. They even have Foot Surgery included in their curriculum. Foot Surgery. Isn't that uncanny and nice? Haha. Of course they have Biochimstry and Mouleculare Biology. Haha. I don't want the to take the Language Program. I won't be needing that much since they said that all instructions in lectures are in English and not in Korean. Oh well, since I really want to enter Hanyang, I guess I have to take their Langueagee Prougrams.

Everyone here in home laughs whenever they see my very very fat face. I laugh, too when I see myself in the mirror. I do not look like my old self anymore. Mukhang kargador ng siopao sa Binondo ang mukha ko. I'm scary. Madeline doesn't even recognize me. She's not going to me whenever I call her. :( And it really aches like hell. It's been three days that I've been waking up in midnight because of the pain and it just sucks that the pain reliever won't effect that fast--and I can't take pain relievers more than once a day because that would burn my liver off. The rashes are very red, hot and itchy especially at night. I don't know if my face would still be bigger the next days because it's just Day 3 today--and this viral infection commonly lasts for 2 weeks. My front teeth also ache now because of the different biting position due to the inflammation of the parotid glands just beside the molars. Everything's painful and ugly :(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KRIZZA ABILLAR! I MISS YOU NA, BES! [APRIL 15] :) I'M SORRY I WASN'T ABLE TO GO TO YOUR PLACE YESTERDAY :( I'M SICK.