Pagbigyan niyo na!

Isang linggo na rin akong maysakit at isang linggo na rin na hindi maganda ang panlasa ko kaya wala akong ganang kumain. Hindi ko alam, hindi naman ako nakararamdam ng gutom kahit hindi ako kumakain. Hindi kasi talaga maganda ang panlasa ko ngayon; minsan sweet na hindi mo maintindihan, minsan mapait. Ewan. Isa pa, parang pinapatay ko rin sarili ko sa sakit kapag kumakain ako. Ni pag-inom ng tubig masakit. Para bang sasabog ang mga pisngi ko habang nararamdaman kong umiinit at tumitigas ito. Sobrang sakit.

Kahit naman ganito, medyo okay naman ako sa sitwasyon kasi nakakapag-diet ako. Wala talaga ako totally kinakain. Inom lang nang inom. Sinasamantala ko kapag bagong inom lang ako ng pain reliever kasi dun hindi pa masyadong masakit. Tamang-tama. Sabayan pa yung pain reliever na 500mg ng 500mg din na Paractamol. Ayos. Plakda agad sa kama ang abot ko. See? Wala na talagang pagkakataon na kumain kahit gusto ko man. At saka, okay nga eh kasi papayat na ako. At least, hindi na ako mukhang baboy na naninikip ang damit sa college. Ayos. :) I laaaab et!

Ngayong araw, apat na pirasong kwek-kwek lang kinain ko. Yun lang. Nate-tempt akong kumain ng sandwich kanina kasi may nakita akong California Raisin Bread at saka Mayonnaise pagbukas ko ng ref. Sarap sana nun, may cheese eh kaso lang naisip ko kapag bread ang kinakain ko ngayon, ang panget ng lasa. Niluluwa ko rin. What's the point diba? Natulog nalang ako.

Gusto ko na talagang gumaling. This sucks. Ang hirap kahit na lahat ng attention binibigay sa'kin ngayon. Ang hirap kasi umaasa ako sa gamot--which is not a good thing kasi masama ang masaydong gamot sa liver. Daranasin ko rin ang lifetime aftermath nito pagtanda ko. Hwag naman sana masyadong malala. Nakadepende kasi ako sa pain relievers. Iba kasi talaga ang sakit. Alam niyo ba yung mga eksena na napapanood niyo sa Philippine movies/TV na maysakit yung isang tao na malala tapos bigla nalang siya aatakihin ng sakit at magstru-struggle siya para uminom nang gamot tapos biglang mawawala yung sakit na nararamdaman niya? Akala ko pang TV lang yun pero lately ganun ang eksena ko tuwing madaling-araw at tanghali. Ewan ko ba kung bakit sa mga ganung oras. Lately mas naging irregular pa nga ang sleeping schedule ko kasi kapag umiinom ako ng gamot, nakakatulog ako agad. Minsan nagigising nang madaling-araw. Minsan hapon na. Minsan gabi. Gisingin man ako para kumain, ayoko rin.

Pero kahit na gumaling na ako, ime-maintain ko pa rin yung pagkain nang ganito. Masyado na akong mataba. Oo na, masyado nang insecure sa katawan. Alam ko yun. I believe every girl comes to this stage that I am currently on. This stage wherein girls feel that their physical attributes aren't good enough. As for my case, I am really quite big and fat; and also, I think I'm a little bit dark. I wanna feel good kaya I want to improve it. Let's just see if I can change the fatso me. :)

They say the heat makes the hair grow faster. Sana. I want to have my hair colored LIKE THIS.


Hate PacMan. He's such an underdog to the Arroyo adminsitration. Sus. Ang kapal. Even his mother is against his candidacy. Heller Manny, mothers know best.

panira ng araw

Seriously, dude.
Anong problema mo?!

Tinatanong ka na nga nang maayos, deadma ka pa.
Dami mong chorva.
You suck, green airhead!

emoshitnal

I have never been this bitter. Never in my whole life I was.
I have the most reasonable reasons to feel this way so don't think that this is again one of the gazillion bouts of immaturity and insecurity that I usually have.

She should have emphasized the point of the activity.
Or at least waited for us.
Sayang, hindi man lang ako nakasama sa botohang lokohang iyon.
They are the most synthetic and the stupidest persons that I have ever met. Bibigyan pa ako ng pagkain--handa ni Hudas.

Oh well, I can't do anything about it. Being productive wasn't enough. I wish I shouldn't have done all of those things so that I wouldn't feel this bad in the end.

I suck.
Now paint a giant red -L on my face; because that's what I am: LOSER.
As much as I don't want to think of it, I cannot help thinking and sulking here.

You know what? They always, always make me cry. I hate them.

Gusto kong mag-amok, mag-urmentado, mambato ng mga panget ng mukha.
Walang hiya. Hindi ko na 'to kakayanin. Masyado akong lugi sa mga nangyayari.
Babawi ako. Makikita niyo.

Bukas luluhod ang mga tala. :x XD ^_-
Seryoso ako. Hindi na ako nagjo-joke ngayon.

All Alone

I have three projects waiting for me but I just can't resist blogging at this point of time. I'm too motivated; or shall I say I have too much within me that I just can't let out here at home that I have to resort to this outlet--blogging.

These past few days, I have just discovered my major weaknesses. These weaknesses I have are really big matters that affect me so much. So much that I end up injured and affronted most of the time. First, is my inability to say no to people when they ask favors from me. I have this bad attitude of just agreeing and agreeing and saying yes when people ask me to do something. Our group projects, for instance. I just realized last night as I went back through some past things that I have done the last months in my senior year that I have done most of the projects that are supposedly group projects. The reasons? 1 is that some of my groupmates are really useless and there's no sense asking them to this and that for a help. 2 is that most of my groupmates are hardcore procrastinators--which I proudly say I am not; that's why I end up doing the project because I want to finish ahead or in time. I am so OC when it comes to projects--I want them organized, presentable and really good that's why when I see that there's not so much effort given to it, I usually give my all. In effect, I do the project alone. All by myself.

I cried shit in front of 24 people today because of shit. I don't want to reiterate things all over again but I really feel bad. This.is.the.first.time.someone.doubted.my.credibility.as.a.leader. My pride was crushed. I can't believe I'd actually breakdown that fast. And I cannot deny that I really am mad to most of them--them who I have served for almost a year. They just don't know how difficult it is for me to follow-up every week, remind them through different communication tools so that they won't forget. As a leader, I believe that I must voice-out whatever it is that they have to say so I forward it to the authority. Now, you just turned your backs against me. I swear I felt like shit a while ago, standing, defending my self all alone and them just there, passively present in that room. I have to take all the blames, the consequences, everything else! And as a bonus, I have been labeled as a dishonest officer for saying their complaints that can't be justified just because of the mere fact that I don't want to name-drop. So much that I cannot take it. I have been a student council treasurer, secretary way back in gradeschool. Club secretary, vice president and president in high school and in those years, I know that I have done all my duties and responsibilities without giving damage unto others. And now she'll just say that she thinks that all those things were just lies?! Oh come on. What have I done to you? Not to brag but I really do think that I am a person who is leader-material and I can manage things and I really have that commanding power. I am not misleading things in the club; I am actually making it better. Just because I don't want to name-drop, you hint that I'm lying. Tell me, who's a good leader that would name-drop and put her members down?

I just cannot take it. It's too much.

I hate myself for being so weak. I am not strongface. Not really but I swear I will! I will.
The incident that happened today will not happen ever again. I swear.

This has made me decide. I am not yet the person that I want to be. And in order to be that person, I should enter a university where I will be molded into a person who is fully brave, strong and free. Pakapalan na talaga sa kolehiyo. Ayoko na. I must be strong in order to not breakdown again when things like this happen--where people just seem to turn away from you. I have to stand up for myself cause no any other will.

Count me in the aktibista populace now. I'm in.

putaangkapalmotalagaleche

ang kapal ng mukha mo.
plastic.
synthetic.
hypocrite.
ang lakas ng loob mong sabihin 'yun sa ibang tao sa harap ko pa.

Sorry, one-sided bitch, I heard all of the things you said about me.

You know why I don't rely that much on my groupmates, especially on you?

BECAUSE I DON'T GET SOMETHING GOOD AND PLEASING FROM YOU.

Wala kang pakundangan. If I know kung hindi pa matino ang grades ng projects natin, talagang lagapak ka na sa Physics. Wag mo akong gaganyanin dahil hindi mo alam 'yang mga sinasabi mo. Ang kapal ng mukha mo. Pa-sweet friend effect ka sa school, hindi lang nila alam kung gaano ka katagilid. Tagilid lahat sa'yo eh. Ang hirap mong intindihin. Insecure ka. Lagi mong tingin nalulugi ka. Ewan ko sa'yo.

Anong sabi mo? Nilalahat ko lahat ng gawain para sa akin lahat yung grades? Aba, ang galing mo ha. Eh di sana nag-dedefense ako mag-isa, ginagawa ko 'yung project nang mag-isa. Siguro 'yun ang akala mo kasi hindi mo naman nakikita lagi ang ginagawa namin. Teka, ilang beses ka ba pumunta sa meetings? Isa, dalawang beses? Tapos sinong unang umuuwi? Ako ba, ako ba, ako ba?! Diba ikaw? Ikaw yang may schedule issues lagi. Pa-star ka. Lagi nalang andyan na, parating na ang sundo, may family gathering minsan may Ateneo fair pa. Shit, ang lupit. Wag mo sa'kin isisi 'yang leche mong schedule na pinalalabas mo pa, iresponsable ako dahil 'di ko kayo ini-inform nang maaga. Bakit, isa ka bang dakilang mag-aaral na hindi nagpro-procrastinate? Wow, bilib ako sa'yo. Sana makita ko pangalan mo sa top20 list. Bakit, pwede ka ba ngayon? Hindi rin naman ah. At ikaw lang ba ang may ginagawa sa mundo para intindihin ang schedule? Ano ka, artista?

At saka teka nga, diba dati may pinagawa ako sa'yo na significance? Asan na? Namuti mata ko sa kahihintay wala naman ako napala. Walang pakundangan. Gagawa ka ang ikli, mas mahaba pa yung mga chismis at pamba-backstab mo pag sinulat. Ilan sa ating lima ang nagcra-cram before the submission date? Dalawa. At sinasabi kong hindi ka isa sa'ming dalawa. Kasi ang saya ng buhay mo eh.

Kung may reklamo ka po, sabihin mo po sa'kin sa susunod ha. At saka po sana kung ichi-chismis mo po ako sa kaibigan mo at kung ano-ano ang sasabihin mo, siguraduhin mo po na hindi ko naririnig at wala po ako dyan sa tabi-tabi ha. Sayang naman po yung effort niyo na mam-backstab kasi nabubuking po kayo agad.

Wag ka po magpapakita sa'kin ha. Wag ka po magte-text sa'kin kasi baka kung ano po ma-reply ko sa'yo eh. Alam mo naman po ako, makasarili, naggagaling-galingan, at saka higit sa lahat, know-it-all. Wow, lupit ko. Ang tagal ko sigurong mamatay kasi masamang damo ako sa mundong 'to noh? Ikaw, mabait ka kasi eh. Good girl, sana kunin ka na ni Lord.

Saka ka nalang po magpakita kapag kailangan na pong i-print 'yung project kasi po diba 'yun po 'yung contribution niyo?

WOW. ALL HAIL TO THE DOWN-TO-EARTH.

to my other groupmates who might have read this:
I'm sorry. I know I have been quite an irresponsible leader but I think it's not just fair to me to hear those things especially from you two. If you think that I'm doing almost everything in our project then think why I'm doing this. Maybe because you guys also failed to do what you are supposed to do that's why I'm bound to do everything else left. Regarding the schedule issues, don't you notice that I rarely consider my schedule? Lagi nalang akong nakadepende sa inyo, kung kelan kayo pwede, kung kelan kayo walang pupuntahan. Lastly, if you have something to say, say it to me. NOT TO OUR OTHER CLASSMATES.

This is what I get from them. Yes, after helping them at least to have a satisfactory mark in Physics. Thank you very much. I highly appreciate it. [Oh, sarcasm is love]

Ipabasa niyo 'to sa makapal ang mukha

Bangag.

This is so crazy. I've totally lost my interest in my academics. Knowing that we'll be having a long test for the next day, I didn't study though the book is just there in my very dirty pink bag. I didn't care.

AND I JUST LAUGHED WHEN I SAW THAT I FAILED THE LONG TEST.

That was so not me. Not me.

Oh well, I think it's part of changing. I know, it's not in any way a change for the better. And it's bad that this kind of thing is happening to me when graduation is nearing; when I have to get my ass working so hard for that ultimate goal.

Oh, about that goal? I dropped it.

There's no sense working when you do not get something good afterwards.
And it even gets more frustrating when you see happy-go-lucky people along the way so carefree, but you know that they really get good things. Very good things.

Inggit ka lang.
Ang yabang mo; ano ka naman para kaiinggitan?
Ano ka, ano ka, ano ka, ano ka ba?! Ha?!

Pahinga na muna ako. Masyado nang nakakapagod. Doon nalang ako magpupursigi ulit, doon sa España. Tingin ko doon mas masaya.

Malapit na pasahan nung dalawang proyekto ah. Bat di pa kayo kumikilos dyan?! Ano, ako na naman? Ako na naman?! Ako nalang lagi!!!!!

Hay nako. Kay sarap ng buhay..


NILA.

gawa ko, pagod ko, utak ko, ideya ko, damay kayo. swerte kayo. pucha, asan na 'yung bayad niyo sa pagpiga ko sa utak ko tuwing sasapit ang mga panahon na ganito?

Kelan ko ba mae-enjoy ang buhay ko? Lintek.

Daniel Henney Sarang <3

this is so gay but I love it albeit.

Look, my 'boys' are wearing the same jacket!. Haha.

and I melted when I saw this:

haha. isn't my Daniel really really adorable? <3 haha.

**by the way, credits to this community

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. This makes me plan to go to South Korea someday. I heard Destiny Cable has KBS Channel--Daniel's network; might as well subscribe to that. Haha. When I earn na. :) Some people here would just find that idea unreasonable. Haha.

Oh my. Oh my. I've never been this crazed before. Aaaaaah. Daniel's so dreamy!

Ayoko nang sumablay

I still have to get through 2 more stages before I finally get in.
I'm pretty confident with the 2nd stage but
I fear that I my credentials may not be enough for the 3rd stage.

Oh, please. If there really is a God above there, help me. I'm begging you.
I want everything in place now.

Please lang, ayoko nang sumablay pa. Nakakapagod na.

Anyway, I just found out that my calculator isn't with me now. At first I thought I just misplaced it here in the house but I recalled that I never brought it out since that last day before fair. It turns out that some bitch, some crazy bitch deliberately stole it. Way back junior year, there was a series of disappearance of calculators and they said some crazy girl was doing it and I didn't believe them; since mine was with me. Now I know, someone really steals calculators. You're pulling my leg, huh? Great job. No one knows how bad I feel whenever I lose my school things. Take note, I just lost a very important school thing. Fcuking shit. I was so eager to go home a while ago, thinking that my calculator would just be in my room, here in my home; but it's not.

Here are the possible reasons for my calculator's sudden disappearance:

• somebody borrowed it and forgot to return it.
• somebody stole it

Please, please, return it to me now! I really feel bad. It's like losing your K9 dog. Arrrrgh!

Kung nakanino man yung calculator ko ngayon, fcuking bullshit, magkakaroon ka ng galis-aso kasi malikot yang kamay mo, ayaw mo pa ibalik. GRRRRRR. Feel my wrath, I hate you!

Mamatay na lahat ng kuko sa paa, wag lang ako mawalan ng gamit. :(
Alam ko lonely na 'yung calculator ko kasi demoñita na yung humahawak sa kanya.
Yeah, shit.

---
I just checked this guy's profile on Friendster tapos ang nabasa ko:
Interested in: Dating Women.

Ooooooooooooookay.

Okay, I got to shut up. :|

Bistado

FILIPINO: definitely my favorite test forever. Wow, nasa pedestal na ako pagdating sa pokus-kaganapan-tinig ng pandiwa! haha. Isang palya, binura lang pala. Haha. :) Oh, I didn't fail the Economics test, surprisingly. :) Well, what can I say? I can still rely on my stock-knowledge. Haha. Oh, does the last statement makes me so up-to-earth?! I don't hope so. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. TAWA NALANG TAYO.

It's insultingly funny how people seem to take my 'senses' for granted. Bistado ka na. Iwas ka pa eh. Halatang may ginawa kang kabalbalan. Matakot ka sa karma.

Tsubibo: nakakasuka, super.

Baka di ako mag BandAid dahil ganoon na ako ka-up-to-earth ngayon.

**please bear with my repeating usage of the senseless term up-to-earth. It's for the sake of targetting someone. :)

Provoked.

Some people can just be severely abhorrent. It's absolutely dismaying that after treating people nicely, you get treated badly. Screw them. Screw them.

It's funny how know-it-alls say things confidently, thinking that they're correct and they're full of sense. Okay, let's just let her continue her very out-of-this-world terminologies and burst into laughter behind her ugly ass-less back. Oh my goodness gracious, I just realized, is she a girl? I can't even see curves when I see her! How mean. Yeah, I am and will be forever mean. But come to think of it: at least I'm not hypocrite.

Though I'm mean, I guess I'm still down-to-earth. And I know what down-to-earth means. I'm down-to-earth: REALISTIC, SENSIBLE, not pretentious, STRAIGHTFORWARD, SIMPLE IN LIFESTYLE. Tell me, I've got the term's correct meaning, right? And I proudly tell you that MY REAL friends are very very very down-to-earth, too. I know no up-to-earth beings, as you put it. Wait, is there any term as such? I don't think so. Blahdeblahdimablechbitch.

I really have to ditch fake friends before this school year ends. There are a couple of them around; or prolly even more. Wow. Fake people are popping all over the place--all over the school. Wouldn't it be nice if I soon eradicate them out of my life one after the another?

DON'T ACT AS IF YOU KNOW US--BECAUSE YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE US AND LABEL US AS UP-TO-EARTH BEINGS JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NOW ENJOYING YOUR COMPANY WITH THE DOWN-TO-EARTHS. YOU KNOW, I SUGGEST THAT YOU CONSULT MR. WEBSTER AND SEE IF THERE'S SUCH TERM [UP-TO-EARTH] AND ALSO, SEE IF YOU REALLY ARE ONE OF THE DOWN-TO-EARTHS YOU'RE CALLING.

AND GO TO ME, CURSE ME AND SLAP ME IF I DIDN'T PROVE YOU WRONG.

You were altogether untolerable and very very annoying even though you try to make things comical but we still managed to keep the ties among us. And then we get these stupid judgments and accusations from you?!!

Wow. The events are stupefying. Great.

I am supposed to get this blog fixed up tomorrow but this is getting more exciting. I can no longer tolerate it and hold it back.

I hope you know how I, we hate you now. Well then, see you at Peace SHoutS.

I'm mad.

Never Unsleepy

It's really strange that I feel most sleepy during the exams season. I don't know. This is one of the main reasons why I really sleep earliest before exams. For instance, last night, knowing that we will be having Physics, Accounting and Health the next day, I slept at around 7pm--yes, and woke up at 6am the next day. How's that? Yes, I wasn't able to study for anything. I just skimmed through some notes and that's it. I took the tests.

I usually do this. Luckily, I rarely fail. I don't know why. Not to brag, but I often get very satisfactory marks without even trying. WAHAHAHAHA.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm no genius. I just have this special ability to retain past information stuffed in my corrupted cerebrum. Haha. Thorough studying before a difficult quiz is the secret. Haha. :D Believe me, it's all easy once you studied waaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of the 'big exam day'.

My case is actually cool. I'm sleeping last night by 7pm while my batchmates are just starting. I'm dreaming at the cold hour of eleven and some of them are just starting to sleep. Haha. :) I once did the similar thing and I ended up failing a Geometry test last year. Sucker. Cramming is not really my thing. It'll mess up my little brain.

I found myself skimming through my old piano sheets before writing this entry. Yeah, I'm 'studying' for Music. Haha. :)

Pointless NCAE tomorrow. I have a Mongol #2 pencil but I don't have a sharpener. Useless.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST COMPLETELY UNTOLERABLE. BITCHES. BITCHES. BITCHES. DIE, BITCHES! DIE!

all I want for Christmas

...is YOU. YES YOU.

I'm gonna eat some onion-garnished beef tonight. go figure. :) I want I want I want.

lalalalalalala.

okay let's get to the "other side"

I want you, MOTO L6!

Love me love me, SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME.

hahaha. I'm so happy! :)

In denial former SHSian

Days ago, an unknown YM user added me in her list. I, thinking that she might be a school acquaintance, accepted her invitation even though I do not really know who she was. Today, I found her online and asked her who she was.

Clarissa: who's this?
fifteen_lover: somebody
Clarissa: yeah. somebody. great.
fifteen_lover: isnt is great??????!
Clarissa: okay just tell me where you got my YM id
fifteen_lover: from your admirer and stalker
fifteen_lover: yadda yadda yadda wahahahahahaha
Clarissa: you used to study in shs, right?
fifteen_lover: what's shs? what the hell is that???? i dont know that
Clarissa: wow. really?
fifteen_lover: yeah really where the hell is shs
Clarissa: what the heck.
Clarissa: who the hell are you?!
fifteen_lover: uhhhhmmmmmm..............
fifteen_lover: why do u want to know wham am i?????????/
Clarissa: because you added me in YM
Clarissa: and I don't usually add people whom I don't know.
fifteen_lover: oooohh
fifteen_lover: actuali
fifteen_lover: i dont know u also
fifteen_lover: somebody sent me a lot of contacts
fifteen_lover: and i just added all of them
fifteen_lover: even though i dont know some of them
Clarissa: but you used to study in shs, right?
Clarissa: c'mon. you don't know shs?
fifteen_lover: why are u asking?
fifteen_lover: i know shs
Clarissa: you know as in just know?
fifteen_lover: yeah
Clarissa: gawd. you're ridiculous.
fifteen_lover: aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
fifteen_lover: i heard of it
fifteen_lover: like thousand times
fifteen_lover: lol
fifteen_lover: im not ridiculous
fifteen_lover: im just drunk
fifteen_lover: hahahahahhahahhahaha
fifteen_lover: hghgghjfs
fifteen_lover: lol
Clarissa: you're patty, right? patricia?
fifteen_lover: paattttyy???????//
Clarissa: anyway, I don't think this is going anywhere.
Clarissa: so I guess I'm gonna end this.
fifteen_lover: it's going DOOOOOOWWWNNNNN!!!
Clarissa: you're a lot of nonsense.
Clarissa: yeah. bye.
fifteen_lover: WWOOOOHHH
fifteen_lover: that makes senseeeee!!!!!
fifteen_lover: im bringin SEXY BACK!!!
fifteen_lover: whooooaaahhh]
fifteen_lover: SMACK THAT GET ON THE FLOORR
fifteen_lover: SMACK THAT GIMMME SOME MORE
fifteen_lover: till you get slow
fifteen_lover: yaahh
fifteen_lover: im nonsense
fifteen_lover: that makes sennnsseeee...........
fifteen_lover: isnt it hoeeeeeeeeeeeee?????????????????????????????????????
fifteen_lover: jkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Notice the lines in bold. Now how did I know that she was a former SHSian? She had the link of her Multiply in her status and I clicked it just to see who she really was. And tanan! I saw a face of a former SHSian who is now in the US. There were even some SHSians who commented in some of her pictures, and she had this picture with one of my batchmates who is already in Canada, I think. SHSians who are now reading this, go see her Multiply and kill me if I'm wrong that she was actually one of the supposed-to-be sophomores in our school now.

How can someone deny her alma mater? Well obviously, the school has failed to mold her into a good person. How can she say this: what's shs? what the hell is that???? i dont know that. Was she ashamed or what? Errr. What's with this girl. Haha. Loser. I think what she did was just.not.right. And I think her agenda of denying that she came from SHS wasn't just smart because she had her Multiply's link in her stat message. I could always click that link, explore her Multiply account and see her face, her contacts and blah blah blah. And I did, just to see who she really was. Bad girl. Tsk. Tsk.

I really hate it when unknown people add me in their YM list. This has happened to me a lot of times and these people always piss me. Random internet freaks just suck big time. Sorry, I'm not the type who adds people, even unknown people just to flood up her list in YM/Friendster. I even delete people who have been dear to me for a while. Haha. That's how uncanny I can be.

To fifteen_lover: good luck sa buhay mo. maging mabuti kang anak ng Diyos. wahaha. ampf. edited na 'to. Thanks kay Nikki Tan. Nalalabuan na talaga ako sa mga sinasabi ng tao.

WELCOME DECEMBER! :D

Misunderstood.

When people say ang sama nito, ang sama ng ugali nito (even in the casually joking tone), I honestly get pissed off with that person speaking to me. I mean, do you even know what you're saying and who are you talking to?! Oh, come on. Nakaka-leche kayo sa buhay ng tao, alam niyo 'yun?

I don't deny that I complain too much on things--especially in food services. Once a friend told me to stop complaining because when I complain, I somehow disrespect God's graces--that is, food. I found that comment absolutely out of hypocrisy and very foolish. Do you know what you're saying? I was not against the food, I was against the very ugly service being given by the smelly school canteen. We're paying a mimimum of forty pesos for a cup of rice and a couple-spoonful of viand which is not in any way satisfying. If only students from our school do not get hungry, the school canteen concessionaire will be bankrupt. Nagtitiis lang kami sa panget nilang pagkain na wala naman kaming choice dahil gutom kami. Is it bad to complain because of the unsatisfying food services that you pay for? I don't think so. It's not what you call panlalait/pamimintas kasi I deserve to get satisfied as a customer. I'm just being vocal with my point of view every time I complain. I'm not passive.

I hate it when I'm being frank with certain matters and then somebody cries out: ang sama mo, ang yabang mo. Sa totoo lang, gusto kong sabihin: ang plastik mo, sobra. di ko na ma-take. bwiset. Saying what's true and what you're seeing is never bad. I don't see why people keep on pretending that they like this, that they like that, that it's okay even though it's like that. I don't see the point of letting things just pass and be apathetic with it even you're already affected. Why don't you laugh if it's all funny anyway? Why continue clinging on a person even though you don't really enjoy her company at all?

Prolly honeys you get my point now. This is what I do almost everyday and everyday, no one ever failed to say that I'm bad, I'm pretentious, I'm maldita. I'm actually waiting for the day that someone will say that I'm altogether unbearable than I'm gonna slap her face with my chubby hand and she'd thank me because I just gave her the awesome-est ecstacy she'd ever have. I am aware that I am not really that pristine(it's used as an adjective, not the name of a friend) holy girl that everyone loves but I don't think that I deserve to be labeled as a "bad cruel girl". I know I can be frank but I never forgot where I stand. And I never babbled non-sense so there's no way that you'd hate what I'm saying. I'm just plain normal but I don't get pleased easily and I want things on the right stage.

I just don't see why you can call me bad but you can't say it to the boy-hungry bitches, the maldita, matapobres, and the insensitive bitches that you're with everyday in school.

It may not be obvious, but I really loathe the feeling in the situations abovementioned. It's not good. Kung pwede lang, alamin mo muna kung ano ang tunay na masamang ugali.

Chicken Barbeque, I really lurrrve you.

Finally, I'm back from the ugly campsite; the camping was altogether fun, though.

I loved everything that happened last night, especially the chicken barbeque (courtesy of the Culinary Arts Club president, of course). My patrolmates and I really had a hard time building the fire. And I shamefully admit, I had a loooong curse-run from yesterday up to this morning. Yeah. That's all because of fire building, forcing us to move the tent instead of letting the other patrols move theirs, insensitive classmates and patrolmates, and unproductive patrolmates. I have been extremely profane; saying p.i, leche, punyeta, shit, fcuk, damn. What's worse is when I say it, it always follows with a pronoun: you, niya, ka, siya. Grrr. Sorry, sorry. I can't help it when things are really out of my way. You can't blame me. If you were in my situation too, you'd see why I acted that way.

I hated the weather last night and this morning's. It was freaking cold to the point that my muscles were on tension, hard, cold, and hard to move. I woke up in the very very cold morning air, with two layers of thick blankets on me, a jogging pants on and a jacket worn. I was sufficiently covered by clothes but it was really really cold that I refused to go out early to take a bath. Haha. Yeah, yikes.

In times like this, you'd really see the true colors behind a person's character. Some are really just irritating, beyond annoying and insensitive. Most of them are really insensitive; thinking of their own joy and satisfaction, their big tummy's satisfaction! Fcuk damn it. Some even act pretentious to cover up their mistakes and flaws. Come on children, why does it have to take more than sixteen years for you to grow up?!

My body really aches now; especially my knees, legs and feet. Intrams practice from this coming Monday up to December 15 :) Oh by the way, I already saw my grades and I was greatly relieved with Physics. It wasn't that bad. This quarter, I really have to work hard in able to make the status quo in Physics and Math better. I'm happy with English. It was more than what I expected :) I really can't believe it; to think that my test results were not at all satisfactory (to me). What's wrong with Teenstar? For what reason is it that I had a 3-point grade decrease? As for Analytic Geometry, Computer, and Accounting, I think masyadong tinipid ang grade increase na binigay nila, especially in ACCOUNTING and COMPUTER. Uuh, actually lahat sila. Hay nako, kailangan na talagang magsunog ng kilay dahil 3rd quarter na. Kailangan ma-achieve ko 'yung goal ko for graduation. Kailangan.

P.S WANTED: HIGH SCHOOL FEMALE DRUMMER