now here's a good reason

As I have said in my previous entry, I have long exams on Monday: Math 11 and Geology 11. I'm right here in Metro Manila and I should be doing in-depth studying for the long exams but guess what? I haven't done anything productive yet. Yes, you guessed it right! I'm procrastinating things again and making our computer chair warm. I have been IM-ing and Friendster-ing all day. This home is full of temptations. There's the TV, the bed, and the almighty computer with the fastest DSL connection. Internet. Online life. My ultimate weakness. The culprit of my just-average high school grades. And it's getting into me again.

So I just thought that this is a good reason for me not to transfer anymore. It's not that there's no TV in my place, it's not that there's no internet [hello, we have WiFi internet access sa dorm]. But when I'm there, I'm just focused unto studying and nerding off or doing things for DebSoc or whatever university-related. What have I done for the past few hours that have passed? Nothing. I just IM-ed and IM-ed high school friends who seem to be disinterested to know anything whatnot about me. Well, no offense to others. And let me clarify that Kaila is not one of them. Yay! Haha. What else have I done for the past hours? Stalking in Friendster. Flooding up my comments page. Stalking. Stalking. And more stalking. Haha. Just kidding. You know I love checking out people's Friendster profiles and afterwards, I'd be laughing at all the bull and stupidity they put there. Okay, before I go on further, let me clarify that I am not generalizing all the Friendster folks out there. It's just that I see more funny profiles than good ones. And I am not saying that mine's a good one. It's simply plain, mind you.

I wonder why I don't already have a clear vision of what do I want to do right after I finish my undergraduate studies. When I was in high school, I remember that I was so eager to hit medical school and after 12 years, I'll have MD written along my full name. Now, I am not even sure if that's still the thing that I want to do. Everything has changed. My exposure to UP has changed me. No, I don't want to be an activist. I know I once dreamed of being one but now that I'm in the real thing, it makes me wonder why I once desired to be in their circle. It does not appeal to me anymore. Being idealistic is not the only requirement for an individual to belong to them--you also need the ability to balance time between those things and your academics. And that I cannot do. I'm okay with DebSoc--the only reason why I still want to go to school everyday even though every school day seems to be a bad day for me. I don't know what would happen to me if DebSoc were non-existent. It's more than an org for me. It's love. And it's the sweetest thing that happened to me in UP. Thank God for DebSoc. Thank God for the people in DebSoc. Thank God for the people in Hezbollah [Clifford, Marco, Rodel, Alex, Mabel, Gerda, Francesca and Benson]--my house in DebSoc. It would be so hard to leave it. I'm living a life that I cannot leave behind. I know this one's gonna be tragic in the later time. I don't wanna think how it's gonna be.

So far, I'm doing okay with my academics. I think it's still tolerable. Zoology is of course, hard without critical thinking. I have learned that I must go beyond my lecture notes and what's written on that thick blue book that almost replaced my bible. I went altogether wrong when I thought that it's just a plain matter of memorizing all those facts and concepts. That I shall never do again. Life is the science of Biology therefore I must absorb everything in it since I believe that the subject matter is my passion. I'll be living this kind of life still in the next 3 years [HOPEFULLY] and I must learn how to get with it.

And I quote: Life is demanding without understanding.

P.S. I made a new Multiply account because my old one sucks. Check it out: http://malditix.multiply.com. The stupid stuff that it contains are for contacts only so just add me if you know me then I'd add you back if I know you. I think it would take a long time again before I update you guys with another dramatic long entry. And I don't even know if someone still reads this. But I'll always try my best for this thing not to be left stagnant forever. :)

I'm leaving for a better place tomorrow night. Please pray that I'll be safe.

feels like hell [the heat]

Friends! I'm back here in Quezon City. I came here at around 5 in the morning today. It was really unexpected that I'd go home today. Will be back there in Sunday night. I have two long exams on Monday--Math 11 and Geology 11. Okay, so I just hope that I would be able to pull that off by Monday.

What's up with this SK elections thing? Do I really have to register? I didn't even know that the main reason why high school and college students don't have class today is because of the SK elections registration.

So yes, I'm here in Manila feeling the freaking heat. I didn't expect that it would be this hot. My college friends have already told me that it really is hot down here but I thought it was just normal Manila temperature. What the hey, it's so hot. I'm wearing a maroon UP tee and very 'see-through' shorts and it's still very hot. Oh come on. Bring me back up there.

So anyway, as I have promised, I'm going to give a 'decent' entry about things that are currently happening to me. First and foremost, JDC is already upcoming. It's on August 18-20 I think. What is JDC? JDC stands for Junior Debate Championship. It's a a tournament for us, junior debaters in the UP Debate Society and it would also serve as our try-outs for the UP IVs. What is UP IVs? UP IVs is a debate tournament among all UP systems--meaning all the debate orgs of UP would compete--Manila, Diliman, Baguio, Los Banos, blah and blah. So here's the pressure upon me: only 6 from us, junior debaters would be allowed to join the UP IVs; the top 6. And I so badly want to join them despite my oh-so-terrible-and-horrible debating skills. I think I don't even have the right to call it a skill since I think I'm not born with it. Whatever. The last statement is so lame. Errr.

I spoke with Clifford last Wednesday. Clifford is my trainer. And I asked him if he sees progress with regards to my debating 'skills'. Of course, as my trainer, he would say yes even though I think I'm not really improving and/or developing. I just realized that I shouldn't have asked him if I want a reliable answer because in the first place, he's very nice to people that he doesn't want people to feel oppressed or whatsoever. Yeah, oppressed. Nice term I've got there. I asked Marco next, my other trainer. And guess what? He encouraged me to quit because of the shallowest reason. I shouldn't have asked him too. I know I won't get a good answer from him since he's all-joke. Whatevs. I thought of quitting DebSoc but as I have contemplated [eh?] on things, I came up to the conclusion that there's no good reason for me to quit. And most especially, it's very hard to leave. Among all things that happened to me in UP, DebSoc is the loveliest, the sweetest and the greatest. I have never been happier and I couldn't ask for more. The relationship that we have established among us is so solid that it makes it hard for a person to leave it. Leaving DebSoc behind is easier said than done. So scratch it. I'm not leaving. And I actually owe the reasons why I'm still surviving in UP to DebSoc. So there. I think this one's already a decent update. Haha.

And oh, contradictory to one of my previous entries, I didn't get a Moto Krzr. I got this instead. The pink one. Isn't it adorable? Haha. I named it Daphne.

And as I have promised: pictures!












Sorry if most of them are stupid. I just took them when I was alone at the dorm. Haha. There was nothing to do. I'd take pictures during our debate trainings and I'll upload them here and I'll introduce my new great friends. Haha. I also uploaded much pictures in Friendster. Check them out there nalang. :)

I'll make an entry before I leave on Sunday. :) Miss you all!

So long

I have been really lusting to update this thing 'decently' but sadly, I really do not have time to do so. Blah. With all these university-related things to do, who would have time?

So far, I'm doing all right here. I love the freedom I'm having. Don't get me wrong, all I'm doing here is purely clean fun. Haha. And yes, I'm very happy. When we get to talk, maybe I'll be able to tell you the reasons why. I have never been happier in my entire life.

There's a departmental long exam in Zoology 10 tomorrow so I have to cut this short.

I'll be uploading picture soon! :) Promise.

Now licensed to debate

so as this post's title goes guys, I am now somehow licensed to debate; or for this matter, maybe 'semi' licensed since I am still just a trainee. On September finally, I'll be 'fully' licensed. Err. Nonsense. Shame.

Baby, I got into UP Debate Society.

Isn't that great? It is.:)

I'm still alive and I'm not putting this thing on a halt. :)
It's just that I'm too busy with academics and all university whatevs. I'm not complaining. I'm loving all of these. There's debate training everyday and I just really love it. DebSoc is love.:) Love love love love.

I also would want to apologize that I don't reply that much to your SMS messages. I'm really busy with things and blah. Miss you all.

**21 minus 17 equals 4. Hmm..Well, 4 years isn't really a large age gap. :) Haha. It's not what you're thinking. Labo.

I'll make a more decent entry next time.:D There's a Geo quiz waiting for me.

but you're still holding my hand

It's already sinking into me that yes, I'm leaving. And for nights, my brother is just making it more difficult for me to leave. We've been crying ourselves to sleep the past nights. At first I find it such a big ridicule that my brother started crying when I told him I'll be leaving soon. But shit, the next thing I knew is that I'm crying with him. I don't know how to explain it. Jumping unto a pool of emotions was never my expertise at all.

By the way, finally. I'm having a new phone tomorrow. It's final. But I still don't know what to have. I went home here yesterday and found out that my mom bought new clothes for me to wear. She updated my wardrobe without telling me. The sad part is, I have really gained A LOT of weight and it hurts to know that my waistline increased. She had 3 skinny jeans for me but unfortunately, nothing of those three would zip. Holy shit. I need college stress for me. Only stress works for me. Don't get me wrong. Kasya naman s'ya. It's just that it won't really zip. Waistline is the problem. Haha. And I want to clarify that I didn't ask for skinny jeans. My mom had it for me without asking me or whatsoever. Don't worry, I admit that I'm too big for skinny jeans. But I realized that they're not that bad-looking with me. So all's good and all right. I just really HAVE to trim my body down. Sayang. Tatlo rin yun.

I've made up my mind: I'm having a Moto Krzr K1 Fire tomorrow. :D Moto fan na ako forever. Haha. :P 4 years ulit ito bago mapalitan. Or who knows, kung di naman nasira yung phone ko, I won't change eh. I hope this one would last really for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

I love Kim Rae Won

Here's an update with my schedule next week.

June 4 [Monday] - will be going home to Quezon City
June 5 [Tuesday] - will be fixing my things
June 6 [Wednesday] - will finalize and get things fixed up
June 7 [Thursday] - will have lunch with Tita Marsha
June 8 [Friday] - will be with someone at The Block and will get back to Novaliches again
June 9 [Saturday] - will fetch Tito Renchie and cousins from the airport
June 10 [Sunday] - goodbye choova
June 11 [Monday] - will finally leave

I actually only have 2 days for me to get things all fixed up. I still need a lot of things. I need shoes! Seriously. I need good footwear. Ayoko ng tsinelas, madudumihan paa ko. Ayoko ng rubber shoes, masakit sa paa. I need something good for my feet.

And I have to have my hair cut again and colored. That's a must.
I also have to visit my ophthalmologist to have my grades upgraded? Err. I do not know the right term. I might have contact lenses instead since for me, wearing glasses is a physical hassle. I don't like how I look like with glasses.

So with so little time, how?

Friends, update me with your schedules. Tell me which day of the week will you be most free so that I can call you in those days if ever I get sad. :) Thanks!

the more I feel so free

I just want to share that I'm so happy like I've never been happier before. :)
I just can't believe it. Thank you for making me happy again.

[EDIT]
It's not because of a special someone or whatevs mushy ewan.
I just want to clarify.
And the title is from a song; not because of the someone.
Basta. You won't get it nga eh. :)
[/EDIT]

Why is it not a happy period?

It's absolutely ridiculous that the past weeks I've been only thinking of one main thing: a new study habit for me in college. Haha. I italicized the word 'study' because I don't really know what that word means. I mean, I don't study as in study. When I was in high school [Haha. Why do I speak as if I was in high school eonaeons ago?], I merely depended and survived with my stupid studious moods. By that I mean, there were just instances that I feel very studious and I read and read a lot my lessons in advance that's why I didn't need to go for an in-depth notes and book scanning before quizzes and exams. I was contented with that because with all fairness to me, I had quite pretty [what an adjective] grades without even trying too hard. Well, for college. I don't want to have that ocassional habit. It sucks. It doesn't make my good performance consistent. Wala, wala akong kapupuntahang maganda kapag ganun. I think for college I will have more time for thorough studying and I should use that time wisely. Kung di, yari ako talaga.

My head aches too much. Ang sakit shit. Hindi nga ako nagkakaroon ng dysmenorrhea which is very common among women pero here comes an excruciating head ache. I don't like it. Err. What a statement; who likes headaches anyway?

For your information, I'm still here at my paternal grandparents' place. I'll be coming back home at June 3. June 4 onwards will be such a very busy week for me because I still have a lot of things to fix. I'll be leaving Manila on June 10 and I don't know when I'll be back again. Maybe I'll be coming for short stays in Manila once in every two weeks or maybe not if I'm too busy and uhh, too lazy? Haha. Hopefully, I'll be back for good on November 2007. A lot of friends are texting me and asking me when can I be available before school starts because they want to at least hang-out with me before I leave. Before I set the date May 19 but because I am not allowed to go out that much here, I wasn't able to make it. As much as I want to spend time with you guys, I really can't assure and give a date because there are still a lot of things waiting for me. Sorry. :( I hope that wouldn't put a strain in our relationship. :) There are still plenty of chances to come. Semestral break is just so near. Yes, believe me. It's nearing [ano ba yun, wala pa nga tas sem break na ang nasa isip]. I'll be back soon. Keep in touch, okay? Please don't forget me. Haha. :) And when I send you SMS, please reply as best as you can. Wala lang; para okay diba? :)

See you all in October/November 2007! I'll miss you all!

P.S. I do not know if I'll be still using Yahoo! Messenger that much. I haven't been on-line for weeks now if you noticed. If you wish to say something to me, just use the tagboard/Friendster/Multiply/SMS. :)

Oh yeah.

I have so much to say that being silent is just better.

I'm feeling down.

Every time we touch, the feeling is too much

Never mind the title. I'm just again having bouts of last song syndrome.

The past days, my cousins, my brother and I have been scaring the hell out of ourselves by reading things that we shouldn't be reading at all. Parang kaming mga tanga eh; mga sadista talaga.

By the way, I and my cousin Inna are here at Excel in SM Fairview and it really sucks to type an entry with fools behind you reading.

Random thing: I bought a Stradmore hardbound notebook a while ago which has the print True love waits on it. Haha. Wala lang. Funny.

In less than 30 days, I'll be leaving for a verrrrrrrrry far place. Well, not really a very far one but you get the point? That's just so far. And it hasn't really sunk in to me yet that I'll be leaving the people I love behind and I'm going to be alone for 5 months [well, hopefully please!]. I wonder how the feeling would be when it's finally 'the moment'. Today was a happy day because our grandparents brought us out to the mall. It's nice being out of our oven-like place. It's nice being free and it's nice having at least little time with fast-paced internet. AAAAAAAAAH. Haha.

Siya nga pala, last week, I was reviewing Inna for her summer finals [she took summer classes for Math because she got a final grade of 72] and wala lang, it was really funny that I still know her lessons [she's an incoming sophomore] and I think I was able to teach her well. I never thought I'd be good in teaching Math. And I never thought that I'd still remember those things after freaking 3 years.

Errr. I can't think of what to blog about, sorry. :)

This has been a humdrum post. Thanks for reading.

[ADDITIVE]
Bukas nga pala, my eleven-year-old brother will be cicumcised already. O wag ka tumawa kasi ngayon palang siya igaganun. Special nga siya kasi surgeon pa gagawa nung procedure niya kasi raw hindi raw pwede sa ano niya na ordinary doctor lang. O yun so anyway, pinakapanalong linya ngayong araw:

Bedeck: kinakabahan na ako bukas sa tuli ko. Sakit ng ulo ko.

WAHAHAHAHA.
[/ADDITIVE]