Where do I go?

From the very moment I said my last "thank you" and gave them off my last smile, and from the moment I opened the door of that air-conditioned room and walked my way out of that antibiotic-smelling building, I thought

If not here, then where else?

They asked. I answered, I smiled. They told stories. I shared mine, I smiled. I think I was smiling for 30 minutes there. Whenever they asked, I answered honestly. I told them what I really want to say, what I really think of. For the last thing, they asked me to convince them that I really want to be part of their community; and I can't actually believe until now that those words came out of my mouth--and if He drove me to say those things, I hope it helps. And if that helps, I promise, I'm going back to Him.

I'm worried that I might not have convinced them for them to finally let me in. I'm really hoping for that divine intervention that can help me; if there really is. I don't know what will happen to me if this thing fails. There was already too much that I had to take ever since this new year has started and I think it's not bad if I wish again for something good this time. Something to be really happy of. It's frustrating much that after you have worked so hard, prayed so hard and waited for so long for the results to come out, you get rejected. For those who can't relate, I tell you it's not really a good thing. I hope you get rejected too for you to feel how it's like and stop laughing behind losers like me.

I don't want to sulk on the twenty-eighth. Not anymore.