Intrams practices suck. Especially if you belong to the cheering group. Yeah. I started hating cheering since I got rejected in a cheering-related thing. Bopek cheer leaders suck and ugly. The sophomore cheer leader of Sifanta is so fucking ugly and she really thinks she's beautiful and all that because she's a cheer leader, a Forte Impromptu member, and lastly, a booster. Oh yeah. All of those things can be really be proud of but, not to the point that she feels that she's so good and so beautiful. Yeah, you're fucking beautiful and whenever I see you, my eyes bleed and I just want to remove my chucks off my feet and throw it to your shit-like face.

Rarr. I'm being too cruel. People just like that sophomore make my blood boil like hell.

Eternal damnation unto you. Sucker.

Anyway, tomorrow's card-giving day. I don't know why the hell they call it "card-giving day".. In fact, they aren't giving progress report cards. The school's giving progress report PAPERS. Haha. Mrs. Pedrosa totally spoiled my day. How can she be a good Arithmetic teacher if she can't do right and accurate calculations?? I think 84 is so far from 77.. and 85 is so different from 71. Why are you complaining?? You even got 71 last quarter. Hey hey hey. Never in my whole damn life that I got 71 and.. I don't think I'm that dumb and stupid to get such mark. Anyway, it's okay because she apologized a while ago for her stupid computations. May pakinabang talaga kung ma-reklamo ka kasi nalilinaw mo ang lahat at saka nakukuha mo ang dapat mong makuha...


I'm so disappointed with myself. I've totally wasted my past 2 years and 2 quarters in high school. I have been so lazy and stupid. I'm just so lucky to have a general average such as 89.9 even though I don't really study at all. I'm lucky compared with my schoolmates/classmates who already attend Saturday classes and/or tutorial classes and still not get decent grades. I have completely used stack knowledge in all my subjects in the past 2 years and 2 quarters. I only study if I already need to study...

I have finally came to a realization that I should have known even before. I ALREADY NEED TO STUDY. I MEAN STUDY. I can't simply do what I want to do because I'm so afraid of being not good enough. I fear committing mistakes. I hate being rejected. That's why I'd rather stay put than move because it might just cause me to commit mistakes. But, I would never ever know if I can do it if I won't try it.

Envy is a mortal sin... but my envy to those who excel right now is my motivation. It opened my eyes. It pushes me to act now. Envy is killing me right now. Yeah, I know now that the mamatay ka sa inggit line is true. Envy kills. I need to act now. I need to move. I have to.

So help me, God.