Great Opportunities: ALL WASTED

I'm so confused.

I'm confused about what to take up in college and what club to enter next year. I'm torn between Mass Comm and Medicine and, now I consider Theatre Arts. Waah. I don't know. I don't know! The Career Awareness Talk only made me more confused. The club thing.. *sigh* I hope Ms. Malayas doesn't read this, but, she just.. uhh. rawr. Kinulong niya ako. I just hope that something would happen next year.. I would definitely not enjoy leading a club that yeah, has some involvment especially when it comes to liturgical activites but with no devotion and dedication at all. I won't love that. And, I know I am not that strong and influential to change people. Oh, I wish I am.

Agalaia auditions yesterday and I failed to try. I am just so hesitant to try because of some things. I absolutely lack confidence though I know I can. You know this feeling that you are too afraid of trying on or working on great things because you are scared of shame and being laughed on. Next will be the Chorale auditions and F.I. Okay, I know people who are reading this right now are laughing because I considered F.I. I have been itching to try on F.I. since 1st year! Hell, I'm turning 4th year in less than 10 days! and I haven't tried anything to be better yet. I hate this. I just hate this.

I so regret that I made this shy and quiet type image. This may be the reason why I am afraid to show the real me. The real thing that I've got. Oh, come on, Clarissa! You're turning 16 and you're gonna be a senior in less than 10 days! For my last year, I wanna be someone great and someone I really want to be! This is not how I want myself to be.

You aint seen the best of me yet. Give me time and I'll make you forget the rest.

Time given enough and it's now.